True Love: How to Know If What You Have is True Love
This is first and foremost a commitment to one person for the rest of your life. It is an unflinching desire to make it work with one person when you feel like it or not. This love is rare and what many are practising is situational-Love, we can also call it Conditional-Love. They love their partners when things are going their way and hate their partners when not going their way. They love because of beauty and other mundane things. Their attention gets shifted when in the face of storm and challenges.
What then is true love? This is how you will know whether what you have for your partner is true or whether what they have for you is true.
It is Kind
One of the proofs of love is being kind. Your ability to be deliberately fair, generous and sweet with your partner. To be kind is to engage daily in activities that bring smiles to the face of the other person. When your partner is always fair, generous and sweet to you, what you have may be true love. True love is when partners are kind in speech and kind in gestures towards each other.
Does Not Envy
This is seen when you are happy at your partner’s progress and your partner is happy for yours. It should be your joy that your spouse is getting ahead in life. When you find yourself sad that your partner is ahead and you are not, that is envy, and it is an indication that true love may not exist.
When we say true Love Does Not Envy, we are saying that if it’s true love, you will be happy for your spouse’s progress and vice versa. You will even help them achieve more.
It Does Not Parade Itself
A parade is a show where you want to be seen and praised. Hundreds of people may be on the parade ground and people hailing them. But they may be deeply sad inside. True love is not about the parade but about the inner peace, joy and happiness.
When it is true love, it is not about who is right or who is better than the other. True love doesn’t claim to be in love while he also flaunts for the other person. It doesn’t remind his partner that he is better than she is. One thing it certainly doesn’t do is make them feel less of themselves. Do you or your partner fall in this category?
It is Patient
When your partner seems to have all the time in the world for you. And patient enough to allow you to be yourself, make your own mistakes and learn from them; that is true love. True love is not about being perfect and does not expect perfection from the other person.
When it’s true love you will be patient with your time, your words, and patient with the growth of your partner. Is this the kind of love you have?
Is not proud and doesn’t boast
When it’s true love you will not look down on the potential and present condition of the other person. True love is not proud or boastful but humble enough to listen, empathise and offer support. It doesn’t label the other person names but instead it accept unconditionally.
Is not easily angered
It is no longer real love when your partner’s words and actions irritate you and constantly makes you angry. True love is not easily angered but regularly making excuses for the other person. So, to know if what you have is Love truly is, you must check his or her anger level. Does he take offence at everything you do or say?
You must understand that conflict will occur while also understand that your lover doesn’t mean to hurt you. So, instead of getting angry incessantly, it takes the higher road of making them resolve it without rancour.
Keeps no record of wrongs
It is love when you or your partner are not eager to remind the other person of the other times they failed you. This is what is wrong with many love relationships today. The man is keeping score and the woman is keeping score as well. If you walk into a counselling room now, you will hear tales of hurt both lovers have suffered from each other’s hands.
Love is not where conflicts don’t arise but where lovers keep no record of them once they have been dealt with.
It does not delight in evil
One of the ways to know if your love is true is that you or your spouse will not delight in evil befalling each other. When love does not delight in evil befalling each other, it is proof that you are a correct human being. Even when your partner refuses to adhere to your counsel and they fail, true and real love doesn’t say ‘I told you So’, it empathise and support. It shows in your speech and action in good times and bad times.
It protects, hopes, trusts, and perseveres
It is true and good love when your partner is the one you want to run to when alone and in despair. When you need someone to encourage you and push you forth and your partner comes to mind; when you are with a person that is ready to make it work no matter what it takes, it is true love.
When your partner have your back any day and every time, you are practicing true and perfect love.
If we insist on holding grudges over every slight issue in our relationship, we will never enjoy a moment of peace. Learning to practice forgiveness in advance is the best way to practice true and undiluted love. Our partner will not be perfect and we are not perfect either. We must anticipate their wrongs and decide to forgive them whether they apologise or not. One of the ways is to call their attention to it and sometimes you can simply choose to let go. The most important thing is when you check and see that their intention was not to hurt.