3 Things to Leave with 2018 if You Want Your Young Marriage to Work in 2019
There are many things we have been so used to which are responsible for the unhappiness in a young marriage.
1. It’s my Partner’s Fault
Take responsibility for your mess. It doesn’t mean you are wrong. It just means you are smart.
In my experience as a coach, nobody comes to say ‘this is what I am doing wrong’. It’s always, this is what she or he is doing wrong’. You must realise that you don’t have control over your partner’s actions and inactions. You only have control over your own. Take care of your own such that life will force your partner to take care of his or her own.
2. Waiting for Him or Her to Do it for You
Your husband is not your Alpha and Omega neither is your wife your Lord and Saviour. One person bears that title already, so get your shot together and stop waiting for him or her to do something for you.
You are hungry, I know it’s cool to wait to be served but it’s also lazy especially when you can cook and aren’t doing anything productive. Get into the kitchen and make yourself some noodles at least.
When you want money? Get out and get some. If you have a vision in your heart which needs to accomplished, stop waiting for her or him for support. It’s your life, my friend.
Many don’t feel loved because their partner hasn’t loved them in a certain way; what happened to loving yourself? You don’t feel man enough because she didn’t kneel or say it to you. Some don’t feel respected because a woman spoke to them anyhow.
Come on! Do us and yourself a favour. In 2019, stop waiting for permission to be happy and prosperous. Waiting on someone else to do it for you can make you a liability especially when the person you are waiting on is still emotionally dependent as well. Please do it for yourself.
3. Lack of wisdom
Young marriages are dying for lack of wisdom and you must leave this in 2019. Your young marriage can blossom with adequate wisdom.
When we bring up this topic, many people rely on this notion of ‘what book or training did our parent read and attend before they had successful marriages?’ If you are in this category, it is proof that your wisdom quotient needs some upgrade.
Why? The men who go to the farm in 1940 are not the men of today. The women who wait on those men are not the women of today. The sexual experiences of the women and men of today are at a PhD level compared to that of your parents even though you are just married.
Communication has never had a better hindrance than the technologies and social media of today. Slay mama, baby mama, fvck boys and ‘certain’ demons everywhere today.
Wisdom should tell you that you cannot win a 2019 battle with a 1928 strategy because the people, technology and institution have changed drastically.
Leave your lack of wisdom in the old year and vigorously go after wisdom in books, courses, training and mentorship. Your young marriage will work.