OPINION: Why ‘Wrong Feminism’ Will Destroy Your Relationship

Feminism in today’s woke culture is a great thing. It is a set of behavioral tendencies that helps to empower a woman in a relationship. As a matter of fact, when projected fiercely, it is one of the very things that makes a relationship balance, blissful and better.

That could be a lie: the last two sentences.

Feminism has proven to lead to the opposite. It makes no relationship BB&B. But wait a minute. What exactly is our understanding of feminism, and why do I suggest that it destroys relationships?

The early agitators of feminism -women in the past century- had a great cause: that women be treated with respect, that women be afforded equal access to social-economic development and that women be entitled to have a say on their being. No doubt about the beauty of this call. All humans need to live with a sense of self -not be picked on because of their biological make-up.

However, feminism, as it is practiced today, is a recipe for a complete disaster in a relationship. Chief of these reasons is that woke feminism is based on an unnecessary, unhealthy and sometimes volatile desire to compete. Here is why it may destroy your love relationship if you hold on to it.

1. Blurry lines between roles

Ideally, a man and a woman in a romantic relationship have roles. This includes gender roles, financial roles, familial roles etc. Feminism causes a blur between these roles. More often than not, a woke feminist desires to compromise one of these roles. This could be through her refusal to contribute her part to the relationship. Sometimes it could be through contributing too little or too much.

This, consequently, pisses off a man, and simply, he’ll walk away. If your charm as a woke feminist earns you another guy -yet your ways are not mended- the porosity of the said behavior will make him too walk away. Eventually.

I believe you should avoid this if you desire a blissful love life.

2. Unrealistic personal target

A woman by design can not do certain things. The same with a man. That is why a relationship is about complementary pairs: two people coming together to make a wonderful love life.

Being a woke feminist will deprive you of this joyful thing. You begin to exhibit traits that make you tilt towards being what you shouldn’t be. To be more practical, you start to carry burdens that are not yours to bear.

These are unrealistic personal targets. Avoid them.

3. Man-hating

It’s a common side effect for woke feminism: to hate on men for absolutely no reason. A few names come to mind. These are proliferators of men-hating. One of the common things that they do is to stir up unhealthy altercations regarding gender, become boisterous with unfounded generalization, and declare men the scums of the earth.

The downside of this is that no man wants a woman who will potentially make life a living hell for him. It’s enough stress being a man in a woman-privileged society like Nigeria where the mere fact of being a woman affords you a zillion opportunities that no man can dream about. No man wants a woman with whom he’ll find no solace.

This may destroy your love relationship.

4. You get misled

The rise of the internet, especially Twitter in Nigeria, has taught one very important lesson: do not believe all you see online. Twitter feminists are a group of hypocrites you don’t want to follow in their footsteps. Again, I wouldn’t mention names, but there are more men-hating hyper-sensitive feminism crusaders who in the last years have gotten married.

What they never return to tell you is that they were merely chasing clouts and that being with a man without the poison of woke feminism goes a long way to sustain a relationship.

Do not be misled. The most iconic feminist in Africa, Chimamanda Adichie is happily married. The Pakistani feminist, Malala Yousafzai is happily married. Question how.

Wrong Feminism as it is today will ruin your relationship. The best you can do for yourself is to define with your lover what your roles, responsibilities and rights will be in your love relationship. And stick to the end of your bargain.