An Abuser Can’t Fully Cover Their Tracks.
They show a bit of who they really are but people don’t understand. They are waiting for them to be hit before they know he/she is an abuser. That’s why you hear things like, ‘I dated him for two years and he never showed a sign. He started hitting me after we got married for only 3 months.’ You can’t tell me there were no signs. There were signs and you chose to ignore them or you didn’t even notice them at all. It’s not too late to right your wrong. Never say never.
In this article, you are learning the signs of abusers so you can figure out who your partner is and leave before feelings get too deep.
What Are The Signs That An Abuser Portrays?
Bad Temper: Bad temper is a red flag. You should never be with anyone that has a bad temper. It’s something that can be changed or can subside but if they are not ready to even acknowledge that they have a bad temper, then it’s even worse. It’s worse because they will never apologize. To them, they did nothing wrong. They are the ones that will tell you things like, ‘I don’t have a temper. Everyone gets angry. Stop acting like a saint.’ The funny thing is that they’ll still be angry when saying this and be claiming not to be angry.
It’s best if you leave these kinds of people alone because they are the first to raise their hands even without marriage. They are quick to hit people and most times they like to be heard, things must go their way and their way alone.
Possessiveness: You’ll hear girls say things like, ‘I love him possessive.’ You love him being possessive then if he slaps you, you’ll run and open a YouTube channel to shout that you are in an abusive marriage. Then you’ll go to your social media platforms and put ‘Abusive Marriage Advocate ‘ on your Bio. Continue.
Every partner should have a limit to these things. You can care about your partner and always want to be with them but when it’s too much, it’s not him being cute, it’s a sign that he’s an abuser and you should run. Over possessiveness in the sense that he doesn’t want you hanging out with anyone. Some even go as far as restricting you from visiting your family or your family from visiting and you think it’s love? It is madness.
Extreme Jealousy: She’s Jealous means she cares. He’s jealous means he cares. Learn to drop that mentality. A partner is allowed to be jealous, we are humans but they should not act on it. They are allowed to feel it but not act on it. When they act on it, it’s already another issue entirely because I’ve never read or seen where jealousy has brought anything good. Besides Love is not Jealous. Once you are jealous about their relationship with people, accomplishments and other necessary things then you need help.
Low Self-Esteem Outside the Relationship: An abuser has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He or she may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate, they feel less and that’s why they try to oppress other people.
Study bullies in school or your neighbourhood. You’ll see that they hardly go for people their size. They always select people and it’s always the weak ones or people that appear weak. Once you stand up for yourself, you’ll see them back out. Another thing, have you noticed most bullies don’t walk alone? They like to walk in groups to feel strong. This is because the majority of them are afraid to do so. Deep down they feel useless and that’s why they are so focused on making others feel the same.
They Always Seem Like Nice People Outside The Relationship
They are so nice that their close friends and family members are not aware of their abusive traits in their relationship. Oftentimes when you report the case to them, they won’t believe you because they believe they know him so well and he has never shown a trait of violence.
We can’t lie that there aren’t bad people out there who are set to mess people up. All we know is, that they won’t find you and you’ll find them. You are going to be so happy. If you are already in one, you don’t need an angel to tell you to leave, this is enough already.