It’s no news that Islam is the first stop for a lot of people when making reference to a religion that condones domestic violence.
This is mostly because of their rigid anti-feminist laws that often view women in a submissive light.
Contrary to what a lot of people believe, domestic violence in relationship is not specific to a particular religious group.
Statistics have already shown that a lot of women experience some form of sexual or physical abuse in their relationships all through their lifetime (at least 1 in 6 women) all over the world and across all religions, so, domestic violence isn’t something that should be specifically for an age group.
Despite this, several media outlets have drawn their focus at Muslims beings the major culprits of domestic violence. It has also been linked to the verses in the qur’an that seem to to encourage domestic violence.
The Muslim community has called this a misunderstanding that is gradually becoming a widely believed narrative.
The verse is one that requires great depth to understand and and has previously been misconstrued by a lot of people.
There are so many females who are now scared of getting into relationships with Muslim men and worse still even getting married to them because of the idea that they believe in being physically abusive to women.
There has been a lot of discrimination against Muslim men by other races and religion because of their “alleged” indifference and lack of respect to women which will translate into physical abuse and other forms of abuse.
This is a stereotype and like all stereotype exists, most times they are founded on half truths and sometimes no truths at all.
Sometimes, it is a warped vision of a religion that the media outlets see and feed on and then they heavily influence the minds of people in general.
There are lots of instances in the Qur’an which talks and preaches about unconditional love that should exist between spouses. The love should not be a one sided affair and should be equally received and sent back between a couple.
According to the Aquarian a couple’s relationship with each other should be a peaceful one centered around positivity, kindness, protection and tenderness.
This, of course contradicts the popular belief that the Qua-ran is unfair to females and encourages abuse. How can one book preach about love and also preach about physical abuse to your partner? This is where the confusion for most people including Muslims set in.
Muhammad, in his teachings, clearly stated what a man’s responsibility to his woman should always be on. He emphasized on how important it is to be kind to your partner, especially husbands to their wives. As a matter of fact, he stated that going against the marital rules set means breaking the rules and covenant you have made with God.
Abusive behavior towards a woman is also completely and entirely wrong because it goes against the human laws of the Islamic religion which focuses on the importance of “preservation of life”.
Another form of domestic violence in relationships that is not widely talked about but is beloved in the Islamic religion is when a husband is unable to fulfill his obligations in a family. It is not only considered domestic violence when you are abusive to your wife; neglecting to do some specific things required of you as a husband such providing your family’s needs, fulfilling your wife’s sexual needs etc is also a form of domestic violence .
So, any violence and coercion against women that is used to control or subjugate is considered to be oppression and is unacceptable in Islam – even if it is sanctioned by cultural practices.
There is a significant verse in the Qur’an which propelled the widespread movement that the Islamic religion encourages violence against women.
Let’s explore that verse below
The Book Of Qur’an Chapter 4 vs 34
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand
A lot of belief that this verse talks about striking a woman when she proves to be disobedient or disrespectful, however, further prodding and in depth studying by Muslim scholars have revealed that the words got lost in translation.
The word used to describe the verse were originally not in English and actually meant something completely different from beating or striking a person, however, after numerous translations, the version and words changed into something that would become widely believed and accepted by the majority.
I would end this by saying any sort of domestic violence against women or men for that matter is completely not acceptable in the Islamic religion and Muslim society. Even though, their exists some people who are naturally tilted to being physically abusive, it is not something that is specifically rooted with Muslim society.