‘My First Boyfriend Is Now My Husband’ (Favour’s story)

Lovers Desk is a weekly Lovelife.ng series that explores the relationship struggles and exploits of young Africans. It showcases the hidden love and hurt stories that are rarely shared or discussed, helping you see through their lens and draw lessons for your own love life.

Favour met Shola in secondary school and he used to tease her because of her big forehead, now he is head over heels for her….

How Did You Meet Shola?

It started in Jss2 when I transferred to his school. My first few weeks were really lonely because I didn’t know anybody and nobody knew me. I left my other school at Surulere, Saint Michael’s Anglican (SMAC) because we were moving to Festac. When I entered the class that day and the teacher asked me to introduce myself, I almost went under the ground. It was really hard for me cause I’m extremely shy. I introduced myself as Uchenna Favour. Everybody who called me for a reason, maybe to pass a pen or to tap someone, because nobody called me for a better reason, called me Favour. There was this boy who wanted to be different in the most annoying way, he started to call me Uche.

For crying out loud, Uchenna was my surname, why are you calling me Uche? I always frowned at him when he said it but he never stopped. I didn’t even know his name then because I was in Jss2 A and he was in C. A was rumoured to be for the smart ones and B for the average. I don’t still understand why schools do that because if every smart person is in one class and people who are struggling are in one, who will teach who? 

The day I found out the name of the boy who called me Uche, was when we were doing PHE, Physical Health Education. He came again and called me Uche and I was like you this boy stop calling me that. He stopped and turned to face me, he was surprised. ‘Wait, you don’t know my name.’ he had asked me. I was shy, I didn’t know when I burst into laughter. He had this face, I don’t know, it was expressionless. I’m still laughing because I can picture how his mouth was wide open. ‘My name is Shola.’ He said that and walked away. Now I felt bad. Was he expecting me to ask around for his name because he never told me? I was very sure of that. It was my turn to chase after him. I ran to the field to meet him and apologised. He told me it was fine and that he wasn’t angry. I could see he was. The Shola I know was always smiling and frustrating me. 

So When Did He Start Calling You Big Forehead?

Omo, it was the next day oo! After he finished forming that he was angry, he resumed his side hustle the next day, which was to frustrate me. I met him at the gate that day. I came late and he was a regular latecomer. They asked all of us to kneel. I was murmuring that I never came late and that I didn’t deserve it cause it was my first time, then I saw Shola, strolling in. He just went on his knees without asking. It seemed he was no stranger to it. As soon as he sighted me, he had a big smile. He got up and came to kneel by my side.

‘Favour, ahahn, you came late today.’ I was surprised that he finally called me Favour. ‘You know they’ll flog us, shey?’ I was scared now, I hated cane so much that I could cry just by the sight of it. Shola started to laugh as he saw my face, I was going to start crying even without seeing it. 

‘i’m Just Joking jor, your big forehead is just shining. You better not stress it.’ After the assembly, they asked us to get up and go to our classes. That was the end of Uche Era, it was time for big forehead. 

How Did You Two Start Dating?

We didn’t start dating immediately. We started dating in SS2. But before then we were best friends. People called us couples but he was just my friend. He used to come to my house to copy my assignment. Every time I tried to teach him, he told me he was tired and he’ll just copy my own. I would beg him to change the words so the teacher won’t know, he’ll still copy it like that, words for words. One time in our French class, his teacher came to call me from my class. Shola had copied my whole french essay where we were asked to write about ourselves. I told him that he had to do it himself and I didn’t even know he copied it. They flogged him that day and they spared me cause he told them that he took my note without my knowledge.

Shola was always looking after me in school. He was not smart and he was nonchalant about school but he was a good person. 

He asked me out when we were in ss2. It was break time and he came to my class. He was really shy when he wanted to tell me. Shola, who can talk, became shy. I was wondering what was in his mind that he was scared. He looked at me with a blank face and said, will you be my girlfriend? I froze because I didn’t expect it. I didn’t give him a reply immediately because I was shocked and I wanted to think about it. I eventually answered after a month and we started dating. 

Oh, So You Are Part Of ‘I’ll Think About it geng?’

Lol! I wasn’t trying to think cause I really liked Shola. I was shocked that he wanted to be with me. Like he was fine, he’s still fine and girls wanted him, bad girls and he was a bad boy. 

How Did You Two Manage University Distance?

We were in the same school. We both went to Unizik. He actually went there because of me. You know he’s Yoruba. We were cool. Yes, we had our issues but we were strong and we pulled through.

What Was The Toughest Part Of Your Relationship In School?

There was this girl in Theatre arts. She could dance very well. Shola has always mentioned that he loves girls who can dance. They were kinda close and I started to think far. I was so insecure during that period and there were times when we fought for weeks but we overcame it. He was my first and only boyfriend. I was his first but I don’t know if I was his only. I never really caught him in any act but they were some suspicious things that I won’t like to share. 

That’s Fine, What Will You say made you Two Come This Far And What Will You Tell Young People In Love 

In a Marriage never come with the mindset of bringing 50% and your partner bringing 50% always come with 100% it is always about giving your all. Love won’t be enough, there has to be commitment, contentment, Loyalty and friendship. True love comes with all of these. Shola and I have been friends for ages. He is my best friend and I’m his.  We understand each other and we respect ourselves so much.