It is easier for a man to emotionally blackmail a woman, win a woman’s heart, break up without feeling bad and get a woman to spend her all on him because most men have mastered the art of ‘psychoanalysis’ of women. This is a guide to understanding African men and their psychoanalysis tendencies. I can as well title this How Women Surrender Their Heart and Will to a Man without Knowing.
I was working on my laptop when a beautiful young female movie director asked me a question after spotting the ring on my finger (by the way, I want to stop wearing my wedding ring, is that okay?).
“Do men know or can they know when you (woman) are trying to move on to another man without telling or alerting them?”
I do not know the full import of her story but as I thought about my response to her, I decided to reiterate here again how majority of the male gender operate when it comes to a woman.
Anything Can Attract a Man to a Woman
You must have heard people say that some men are attracted by beauty, some by intelligence, some by gestures, and many others. We even call some sapiosexual saying that they are attracted by intelligence but that is not the absolute truth. Anything can attract a man – looks, speech, conversation, kind act, wisdom etc but most times he does not fully know what he wants from you until after he has psychoanalyzed you.
It’s the same reason why a PhD holder can have sex with an uneducated illiterate. It’s why an upper-class individual can find true friendship with a lower class individual. Attraction is simply attraction for men – they really can’t choose but after a moment of attraction they are often aware what they want to do with the attraction.
Men are Psychoanalyst in Nature
So, will a man know when you are trying to leave him for another man? Often times, he will know. How?
As a woman, you will notice that men usually ask a lot of questions when you first meet them. They are often interested in every detail of your past life. They tell you that their insistence and persistence on these questions is because they love you and would love to know everything about you.
Fact Check: Psychologically, this process can do two things: It can make you either fall madly in love with each other or make one of you a master at manipulating the other person for their own desires.
What many men are UNCONSCIOUSLY doing in the process of asking these questions is psychoanalyzing you. You will notice that the more you share with them, the more you heal (temporarily) and the more you are drawn and feel attached to them. Psychoanalysis (as propounded by Sigmund Freud) is actually a form of therapy that helps you release repressed emotions and memories towards leading you to your healing. The challenge with most men UNCONSCIOUSLY psychoanalyzing women is that they have no psychological expertise to heal her permanently.
When you are trying to leave a man without informing him and you are sensing that he appears to know already. You may be absolutely correct because in the process of unconsciously psychoanalysing you, you have told him your response when you were with your ex or when one of your relationships was going sideways. He can sense the same response in you when you are trying to leave especially if he is an intelligent man.
After Psychoanalysis, what do men do after?
For some men, it can be as fast as the first 30 minutes and for some others it can be as slow as the next four weeks (of regular communication). A man can tell if all he wants from you as a woman is nothing, sex, date, relationship, marriage or just friends.
After psychoanalyzing you, he put you in a certain box and this becomes how he treats you, speaks to you and reacts to you.
It is UNCONSCIOUS for Most Men
I have deliberately used uppercase for the word UNCONSCIOUS because I need to reinforce it. Most men did not sit down to learn or plan how they will psychoanalyze a woman. They just do it. For some other men (the playboy), it is their way of life but this article is not for them but you may also use the same logic in dealing with them.
How Should a Woman Respond to This?
A few years ago, I wrote a book and titled it ‘Don’t Be Yourself if You Really Want Him’ and the summary of that book is the answer to this question. To play a bigger game and own the heart of a man and turn it wherever you like just like men often do to women – you need to stop being a female (laid back and allowing him determine the fate of your love life) and start acting like him without losing your feminine nature.
If a man psychoanalyzes you, why are you not doing the same? You must learn to ask many ‘heart-stopping’ questions and make him reveal as much to you as you do to him. Often times, try to lead the direction of the conversation and not make him only tell you what he wants you to know.
The day a man starts spilling his secrets to you in an emotional state is the day you have started to win his heart. The day another woman can get him to do the same is the day the other woman starts to win his heart from you. Bear in mind that there are professional fraudster men who understands this trick and will say anything and even act to make you believe they have fallen for you.
Before you bash…
Before you bash this psychoanalysis behavior in men, you must understand that when you meet a good man with pure and sincere intentions, this analysis will help him love you where other men have failed you, he will be much more than a friend, boyfriend or husband to you such that you wonder what you did to deserve him. The only way to make it last is to start psychoanalyzing him as well (if you have not already done that) to the point where you love him from his many pain points and make him have no desire for no other but you.
You can find Mr. Legend on Twitter/Instagram @olatunjilegend