5 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

Between finding a lover and starting a relationship there’s a lot of headache. And sometimes it’s possible for a person who is single to begin to melt into the thought that they have a problem.

You don’t have a problem. At least not in the sense of a spiritual one or something of that sort.

There are several logical explanations that cater to your current state . So in this post, I’ll share with you 5 reasons why you’re still single.

1. Your expectations are unrealistic

A (wo)man of your dreams

Are you among the ladies who await the coming of prince charming: a 6ft, dark, muscular and handsome man from XYZ? Or you’re a guy awaiting the girl of your dreams who when you look at her in the morning she’s beautiful like the sun and at night, she’s as elegant as the moon? And because of this imaginary lover, you’ve discarded others who tick only one or less than three of your check list?

You have unrealistic expectations. Men and women like that exist only in movies and romance novels. The more time you spend waiting for one, the more time you spend on Single’s street.

2. You don’t socialize

I-like-to-be-alone gang

Being an introvert is not a terrible thing. What can be terrible is feeling comfortable with not meeting people -at all. Gone are the days when Angels descend with news of a suitor to come. Now, if you’re invisible or unapproachable, there is a huge likelihood that no one would come across you. And this is another reason why you’re still single.

3. You still hold on to the hurts from past relationships

“They are all the same”

Flashbacks have their way of messing up things for everyone. Your last bad relationship keeps replaying in your mind – to the point where you assume all (wo)men are the same. Well, holding on tight to these hurts will definitely close you up to any new relationship – the good ones especially. 

So, check yourself: is this you?

4. Negative self-talk & low self esteem

Will (s)he shun me?

The thought of you being inferior to the kind of (wo)men you love is another  reason you’re still single. 

It’s not uncommon that this is a big hindrance in the path of intending lovers. Thoughts like, ‘Will (s)he like me? I don’t want to mess myself up… pushes people to bury their will and resolve to try. Is it the same with you?

5. You hate people messing around your space

I hate people messing around my space

This is more OCD, than anyone who has it might like to agree to. Some people do not like the idea of sharing their space. They get all jittery when an item is moved and remains unreturned to the appropriate place. Arguments, even fights ensue. Consequently, they resolve to be on their own because of the hatred of people messing around their space. 

This is a huge love repellent as having a relationship requires acceptance of individual unconscious flaws and compromise. Without that, there’s no relationship. And this is another reason why you’re still single.


Have you identified why you’ve remained single all along? What do you think you’ll start to work on? Let me hear from you in the comment section.

And yeah, if you’re in a relationship, oh thank God! Ensure you share with this with your single friends.


About Niyi Williams

Niyi is a writer and a lover of love.

View all posts by Niyi Williams →

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