My Divorce Story: Married twice, Divorced Twice, Yet Constantly Teaching Love
Growing up a Christian definitely had its pros and cons. I benefited by growing up in an environment that encouraged me to venture into the unknown like walking in faith, gave me permission to be bold and unique.
However, it also suggested, and in some ways implied, that I had to demonstrate a life without flaws. Go to church. Study the Bible. Love everyone. Get married. Don’t have sex before marriage. Never get divorced. Don’t be angry with anyone. Do right by your parents. Don’t dislike anyone, among other things. Well, these things didn’t seem too difficult.
However, after being happily married for over 7 years, I found myself in a place in life that I thought I would NEVER be… going through a divorce. Even more devastating – I committed adultery. It wasn’t planned. I wasn’t unhappy. Sounds crazy I know. Yet, my reality was, it was simply the fact that I was afraid to tell anyone that my boss kissed me. Silence is the perfect environment to stir up a division. I could totally give you the long story; however, at this time, just know that my husband was willing to forgive but not the way I wanted. He was willing to move forward in RELATIONSHIP but not marriage.
While going through this experience was one of THEE most devastating and depressing things I had gone through, I learned quite a lot in that season of my life. Like love can’t cover a multitude of sin if it’s hidden. And you don’t know the strength and capacity of love until you try Love.
This was the beginning of my devotion to help other individuals within their relationships.
You see, this was more than just about me being married. This was also about my lack of confidence in sharing the Truth. Not just to my husband, the guy I cheated with, and my family/friend community. And like many people who are afraid of the backlash that comes with sharing their truth, I retreated. I caved. I hid.
So now, it’s my goal to encourage others and inspire them to be confident enough to share their truth, no matter what the outcome! I desire to cultivate a culture of people who aren’t afraid to acknowledge their truth, including their imperfections, producing more people who are accountable and willing to learn from their mistakes, instead of acting like they don’t have any. This type of character also produces more compassionate individuals, which in turn, causes them to also be patient and understanding, (and hopefully less judgmental). These characteristics are extremely important and necessary when it comes to relationships! And so I began to see the connection between having confidence, and how it affects the health of one’s relationships. Not just romantic, but ALL of them, including the relationship one has with themselves.
Many people don’t view themselves in a healthy manner; therefore, it definitely presents a challenge when it comes to their relationship with others. Perspective plays a major part in all of this. Therefore, I help people understand, by way of “Perspective Rehab” if you will; helping people see things from an alternate view.
In my coaching practice, I don’t give people permission to sin, or make bad choices, however, I give them full permission to LIVE through their humanness, which includes imperfections, and gain value from it by LEARNING and accumulating confidence through it! This is my life work! I pray that through my writings, you gain wisdom and information that aide in how you do life with yourself, and others. I often say that confidence and relationship are parallel in importance because you will spend the rest of your life with YOU, and around other people, so I want you to do it on PURPOSE!
Aqueela Maddox is an American based Confidence coach and relationship expert. She is fondly called “The Inspirationalist”. You can also find her on her site, www.aqueelamaddox.com
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