Lovers Desk
Lovers Desk is a weekly Lovelife.ng series that explores the relationship struggles and exploits of young Africans. It showcases the hidden love and hurt stories that are rarely shared or discussed, helping you see through their lens and draw lessons for your own love life.
My Story
Sometimes you don’t know you’re being ghosted until someone actually points it out to you.
For me, it came as a shocker when I found out that the man I had built my whole world around was ghosting me.
I and Opeyemi had been dating for about 3 years before he decided to ghost me.
We had a normal healthy relationship. We had our occasional quarrels and little fights but we always settled and apologized to each other.
One particular occasion, we had one little fight that maybe escalated a little bit. Out of anger, we decided to block each on social media.
Mind you, this is not the first time we would do something like that. We normally would block each other if we were feeling too angry and then after a while, we would unblock ourselves.
This time around, when I unblocked him, I noticed I was still blocked.
I decided to give it time. Maybe after a day, he would come around. We had never not spoken to each other for more than 24 hours, so, I was optimistic that I would get unblocked soon.
Well, a day passed, I checked my socials but i was still blocked.
I decided to call his number and I found out I had been blocked there too.
That is when I started to get agitated.
The only other persons number that I had that was close to him was his sister.
I dialed her number, when she heard my voice, she immediately ended the call. I tried to call back again and that’s when I noticed that she had blocked me.
The issue we had had been our normal issues. There was no way in hell that our little issue would have prompted such attitude from him.
My friends advised me to give him time to come around. I didn’t have any other option since there was no other way to get to him.
You see, we were not even in the same state. While he was in Lagos, I was in Delta.
I gave him a week. Then two weeks. And finally a month.
He didn’t call or text me back. It was like he had disappeared from the face of te earth.
When I tried to reach out to him with other different numbers, once he heard my voice, he would cut the call and then proceed to block the number.
It was absolutely horrible.
The worst part is the part where you’re trying to figure out what you did wrong or why you’re being treated that way.
After weeks and some months of heartbreak, paranoia and tears, I decided to move on from him.
With the help of my friends and family, I was able to successfully get him off my mind.
One day, I was telling the story to a new friend I had just made and that was when she told me hat I had been goshoted. Prior to that, I did not associate what had happened to me to being ghosted, but, after she pointed it out, I realized that I had truly been ghosted.
Till date, I have still not heard from him. Recently, I stumbled upon his page on social media. I found out he has someone new in his life and he does seem very happy and at peace with her.
I have also found peace.
I have realized that when he ghosted me, it had nothing to do with me but everything to do with him. His lack of accountability for his actions is on him not on me.
