Love & the Complete Recipe for a Perfect Relationship?

The complete recipe for a perfect relationship is available nowhere. Sorry.

What is available, however, is a number of proven recipes which, in addition to love, can help you attain that awwn-kinda perfectly imperfect relationship.   So, in today’s post, I will share with you five of these effective tips and I hope that you’ll find what ministers to you in your relationship.

Before I dive in, I want you to imagine what a car running just on petrol looks like. Or a movie made up of video, no sound. Or a wedding without Party-Jollof…

The face of party without party-jollof

All of these are perfect instances of a relationship running just on love. 

Don’t be like that! Add the following:

1. Space

S         p         a           c           e         !    

I bet you never considered the importance of this in your relationship. But the truth is that you and your partner desire your personal space every now and then. Not having this as well as taking it away from your partner can make you two cranky. 

Want more conviction? Read what the great poet, Khalil Gibran, has to say about space between lovers:

…

You were born together, and together you

shall be forevermore.

  You shall be together when the white

wings of death scatter your days.

  Ay, you shall be together even in the

silent memory of God.

  But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

  And let the winds of the heavens dance

between you.

  Love one another, but make not a bond

of love:

  Let it rather be a moving sea between

the shores of your souls.

  Fill each other’s cup but drink not from

one cup.

  Give one another of your bread but eat

not from the same loaf.

  Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let each one of you be alone,

  Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver with the same music.

  Give your hearts, but not into each

other’s keeping.

  For only the hand of Life can contain

your hearts.

  And stand together yet not too near

together:

  For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

  And the oak tree and the cypress grow

not in each other’s shadow.

2. Be friends with his/her friends

You are never enough for your partner. Never. And the earlier you realize that you can’t be all (s)he needs, the better for you and your relationship.

Your partner might like to dance while you are as stiff as a pole. Let him/her be. Rather invite yourself to his/her dance session ASMAP. Get to meet his/her dance friends. Exchange numbers. Keep in touch with them -as much as necessary. Let your partner do the same with yours.

Why is this important? It allows you both to be yourselves -completely- without feeling caged. 

Think about it.

3. Exchange gift

A side effect of love is that you put your lover above yourself. Read that again. If you are not doing that, maybe -just maybe you’re not completely in love.

So, one vital thing for a perfectly imperfect relationship is to make a habit out of exchanging gifts. For no special reason, on no auspicious occasion, buy her that thing she has been speaking out lately. Do the same for him. 

Now, sit back and watch what it does to your love life.

4. Help each other grow

There are a lot of ways to achieve this. But my recommendation is that you tap into your lover’s dreams and aspirations. Without (s)he asking, check for opportunities, openings, innovations in the areas of his/her interest and slip this into one of your conversations.

He’s into art? Check out exhibitions and calls for submissions out there. Show him that IG/Youtube account with awesome pieces he might be inspired by. Do the same for her. 

The perk of this is that your lover feels that you truly think of him/her in your dailies. And nothing reinforces love than knowing your lover, ALWAYS, roots for you.

5. Create memories

Memorabilia, pictures, artifacts, and other acquisitions of good time spent together are a great pastime for lovers. Not only is it a great past-time, but it also helps you two to see how far you’ve come, how great you are together, and how many more years there are for you to keep going.

Now, that’s an awesome way to topple those sparse feeling of disgust, boredom, tiredness, and lack of interest that interrupts the sweet flow of your relationship.

There you go. 5 effective recipes alongside love to help you wax stronger with your significant other.

Ciao!