In relationships all over the world, the lips is synonymous
with romance and foreplay. This is good as long as it’s consensual.
However, we need to pay more attention to how our lips can help us build
a more happy and lasting relationship.
When I was dating, I remember the arguments. The many words
I spoke and the many points I wanted to prove. Sadly, none of them made the
relationship last.
It is the same pattern that I find in young
relationships and marriages today. You talk and talk till either or
both of you are tired.
As a man, you accuse your partner of not doing and
being more. You cite examples of women whom you believe she should be
emulating. You are quick to mention the sacrifices that you have made and keep
making for the relationship. You go on and on till your partner begins to feel
‘stupid’ and worthless.
When you start your rant using your lips, your partner
says in their mind “Oh, not again”.
See, such is the power of words from our lips. The more you
say it the more your partner believes it (especially women). That’s because
they thrive on words.
Have you forgotten that your words were the attracting
factor before she said YES? Where did all that sweet words go? I know. They
returned home. The real you have now emerged. The YOU that likes to be always
right, the YOU that knows it all and The YOU that is wiser than the wisest. The
YOU that cannot ZIP IT. Your lips need to experience a rebirth. You need the
lips of a superman spouse.
Having the lips of a superman spouse is first gaining
control over your emotions. One of the first test of that is your ability to
zip up negative words and unzip positive words even when things are negative. A
superman spouse sees the negative but deliberately choose to focus on the
positive.
You are not a superman spouse when you still talk
anyhow. Sometimes, you console yourself by thinking what you are doing is
correcting your woman. You need to know that what you are doing is
not correcting, what you are doing is damaging. You are damaging her self
respect and self esteem. You are damaging her confidence in herself and ability
to make quality decisions.
Sometimes, as men we want to cover up our bad lips with good
deeds. It’s important to note this that when you have been good to a woman
but constantly make her feel worthless at every occasion of anger, she FORGETS
that you can be good. What she can think of are not your good deeds but your
loose lips.
To develop the lips of a superman spouse you need to:
- Start talking right
- Say what you desire without being condescending instead of what you think her problem is
- Mention your own faults as well. You are not that prim and proper.
- Any ‘I love you’ that you say after saying ‘don’t you think?’ has missed road. It has no effect what so ever even if she replies ‘I love you too’
- Stop saying what you would not like to be told. She’s human like you
- Call those things that be not as though they are – speak to her in the Queen way.
As a man, your love relationship will work when you have
developed the lips of a superman spouse. Don’t worry, this is a long game,
start practicing. Don’t beat yourself too much when your lips fail you,
practice again until you finally develop this lip.
