Dating Etiquette

Like every other thing, dating also has rules. Whether you are a Pro at going on dates or you are team Single and ready to mingle, you should follow the rules or else, you might just be single for a long time. When others are cuddling in the rain, you’ll probably be packing your clothes from outside or shutting your windows and doors. Either way, your weather for two will be a lonely weather for one because you have refused to learn and practice dating etiquette, later you’ll shout ‘God when?’ Hmm…it is well.

I know you might come with, ‘there are different etiquette for the guys and the ladies. Well, we will start with the general ones and segment them eventually. Here are the rules you need to follow;

1. Don’t be late: This is not a boy or girl thing, it’s general. You shouldn’t be late, regardless of your gender. If there is going to be anything that will delay then you should call or drop a message. Everyone has something they could be doing rather than going on a date with you so if they created that time, you should have some respect and show up in time.

Ever heard of the term Chronemics? This is how you use the time to communicate nonverbally. Nonverbal means communicating without having to say a word. Just like Kinesic where you communicate nonverbally using body language. 

Now once you are late on a date without calling or doing the necessary, you have passed a message to the other person without saying a word. You practically just showed how irresponsible you can be and that’s certainly a dark red flag.

2. Don’t lie: Excuse me, why are you lying? Lying on your first dates is probably the worst way to start a potential relationship whether as friends or as lovers. You should always try to be yourself. It’s really not a hard thing to do. Don’t lie to impress, you’ll be caught someday and it will be bad…. You don’t need to act like somebody else or speak like somebody else. If you do so, the person is not exactly falling in love with you but with someone else. Just be you and if your date doesn’t appreciate that, then we move on. You shouldn’t have to fake it to fit into being someone’s spec. I’m not asking you to act razz and scattered in case that’s you. Just be cool and you’ll be fine.

Lying can be exhausting sometimes especially to someone who knows you are lying.

3. Don’t be rude: I’m going to start this with a question again: why are you rude? What for? Class? Is it necessary? It’s not every time you have to be ‘savage.’ Most times, you have to think before you talk. This person came out to see you and you want to be rude? Nah. Not right at all. No matter what type of day you’ve had, be polite to your date. Dates are supposed to be enjoyable, not uncomfortable. Even if you are not rude to your date, yelling at the other people you encounter like someone driving on the road, the waiters and servers, will make them uncomfortable.

4. Don’t be too Clingy and Touchy: It’s your first date, you are probably just meeting for the first time too. Take it easy and don’t start to jump all over them and act all cosy. Some people find it uncomfortable and irritating to do so for a first meeting. Some might tag you as “too cheap and pushing yourself on them” so to avoid this, just maintain a nice amount of space.

Also, unless you already had a strong relationship with them, you should take some time before you start calling them pet names.

5.  Be emphatic: Put yourself in the person’s shoes every time. ‘Will I be fine if this person does exactly what I’m doing to them?’ If your date is not a drinker, why go on a date in a bar? You go to a restaurant with your date and you meet your friends, are you supposed to leave them alone and hang out with your friends? Yes, you saw your friends. Say hello and go back to your date. 

 In situations where you were chatting  Online and the person’s pictures are way finer than them in real life, I know you are disappointed, but you don’t have to walk out on them. You can address the issue in a kind way where no one will feel hurt.

Once both parties have these rules, there will be no misunderstanding, at least for now. Each party still has significant rules to play to have a successful date. 

Dating Etiquette For Men

1. Call her to confirm: Whether you both are meeting in your house or a public space, you should always call her to check up. Know where she is to make sure everything is ok and she has not lost her way. In a situation where you are the one picking her up from her place, you still have to call her to confirm the address, and directions to let her know how close you are so that she can be prepared and she won’t keep you waiting.

2. Look Good: Know what to wear. Ladies can go off anytime for the slightest reason so you have to look your best.

3. Be confident: After looking so nice, it will be unfair not to be confident. Don’t be arrogant. There’s a big difference between being confident and being arrogant.

Confidence is a trait that involves positively expressing your abilities and using them to help others, while arrogance relies more on boasting about your skills and keeping them to yourself. In arrogance, it’s more about talking than doing, but when you are confident, your actions speak for you. So as a man the way you enter a room or share a glance is an indicator of your confidence working for you or against you.

4. Compliment her: Women love and enjoy compliments. Some go as far as cutting you off if you don’t compliment them on a date. A twitter user took to her page to talk about how she stopped talking to a Man after their date because he did not compliment her.

You can say little things like, ‘your dress looks lovely, I love how you smell’ and so on. Just be kind, it doesn’t take anything from you.

5. Don’t be too forward: Take things slow. Don’t say because you paid on the date, you have the right to ask for sex or you can talk as dirty as you want with her. Before going on the date, you’ll probably have an idea of what she’s like and if you didn’t then once you say something or do something and she sees it as offensive, you should let go and don’t repeat it. Some women find it to be very uncomfortable. In private places, don’t try anything stupid. Be a gentleman and have some sense. If that’s what you plan to do then just don’t text her at all, stay at home and work.

Dating Etiquette Ladies

1. Be considerate: Lol! This is my number one rule because I’m about to break some evil tables. You are a spec, we know. You drip glory, Of course! You are nobody’s ex, but please don’t send somebody’s son to the trenches. Keep it simple. You don’t have to order the most expensive thing or everything the restaurant sells. Apply wisdom. You probably do not know if he can afford it or not and even if he can, don’t take advantage of the situation.

Imagine a scenario where you order every single thing out of greed and your date tells you he’s going to be splitting bills. Lol! Girl you are going to have to pay. In order not to wash the plate, click the link to know how to prepare for a date.

https://lovelife.ng/how-to-prepare/

In some situations, they might just give an excuse and run away leaving you to pay for it.

2. Be a Good listener: It’s not every time you have to talk. You are talking about your family problems, school, the office, movies and all. Sometimes, you just have to listen. They want to talk too. They want to let out some things too and if you keep talking, guys tend to be more reserved so they’ll end up saying nothing or sharing anything with you. If you listen, you can also be able to ask valuable questions and learn more about him.

If there’s a topic you’re passionate about or something you disagree with, speak up and let your personality shine through.

3. Don’t drink too much: If you do this, you have messed up on so many levels. This is because being drunk on your first date shows a lack of respect for yourself also, women have been raped under lesser circumstances and you will be unable to care for your well being. One or two cups should be fine and don’t rush it.

4. Compliment him: Common, he dressed up just to look this good for you, the least you can do is to compliment him.

5. Never go all the way up: If you are not comfortable with what he’s saying or with him, you are allowed to go and get yourself out of the situation. If he makes a move at you, as long as that’s not what you want, you should say no. Yes, he might never call you or speak to you again but you did the best for yourself and you did something you won’t feel bad for or regret in the future.

Who should pay on a date?

Regardless of gender, if you initiated the date and invited the other party, you should be responsible for the payment. Even though it is a thing for men to pay for dates, never assume that the person will pay till they say so. If you are going to split bills, fine. Just let the other party know before coming so they can make an agreement and no one will be caught by surprise.