Some research has shown that 8 out of 10 people ‘listen to respond’ rather than ‘listen to understand’.
Lack of understanding causes a preventable rift, disagreement, malice, resentment, and hurt.
Let’s take an example, a woman can say ‘you don’t love me’ to her man with tears in her eyes. That statement can cause the man to feel deeply hurt especially if he is making sacrifices for their marriage.
That man, sometimes for peace to reign apologizes but grows resentful and continues to keep malice with the woman.
A man who has trained himself to be a good listener will not make up his mind upon hearing that assertion.
He will inquire from her what she meant. He would hold her close and ask how she would want to be loved.
In doing this, the man will most likely discover that she simply doesn’t feel loved at that singular moment and needed some reassurance.
This is what becoming a good listener can do for you.
It is important to note that you should not be a good listener in a relationship or marriage only.
You should be a good listener in life. You are a bad listener in marriage or your love life because you are yet to master being a good listener in life.
This is why becoming a good listener is not an investment in your spouse or marriage but in yourself.
This is a necessary investment everyone should make in their lives but how do you become a good listener and make your life, marriage, or love life phenomenally glorious?
The following steps would help:
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Get rid of all your bias of people when they are speaking to you. Listen to them as though they have no previous fault even if they do.
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Be empathetic and not sympathetic. Empathy makes you see the other person as yourself knowing this could be you as well. Sympathy makes you feel you are luckier than the other person and above the person.
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Ask follow up questions to understand more. There’s a possibility that you did not listen to understand. Correct that by asking questions to fully understand.
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As tempting and convenient as it might be, Never assume anything. Instead, seek clarification.
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Ask yourself, if this was me, how would I want to be responded to? Act in the same manner.
With these few points, you can daily start practicing how to be a good listener in life, marriage or your love life.
Being a good listener will not only make you win in every sphere of life but it will also make your marriage or love life phenomenally glorious.
The second way you can invest in yourself to make your marriage or love life phenomenally glorious is to be kind with your words and action always. As simple as this sound, we all know we don’t always feel like it. Join me in the next post in the series to break it down and help us see how we can practice this regularly.
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