Communication is the keyway in which we connect with other people, and as the social animals that we are, we love connecting with other people, and it makes us happy. However, healthy conversations are what we should all prioritize and how we should improve communication in a romantic relationship.
One of the most important communication skills is listening. Still, people tend to forget this as a lot want to prove they are right; positive relationships can only be built by listening to each other. Common listening mistakes that will not help any relationship include:
- Thinking about something or daydreaming your partner is speaking
- Thinking of what to say next is a prevalent mistake that a lot of us probably developed when we were younger and participated in debates. Communication with your partner is not a debate.
- Being judgemental of what the other person is saying
- Listening with an outcome already in mind
Active listening is much more than not talking; it is an art that shows genuine interest in the other person, curiosity through nonverbal involvement without judgement and tolerating silence.
To revive communication in a relationship, try the following exercise: Person A gets 10 minutes to talk about their day, while person B is listening actively and with a genuine interest. Person B is allowed to ask clarifying questions but should not interrupt person A.
If there is a silence that’s fine. Relax.
After person A’s 10 minutes are up (all of the allotted time needs to be used), person B gets to talk for ten minutes as well, while the same listening rules apply to person A. You will find that 10 minutes is a very long time to listen.
You may be amazed at how much you learn about each other and how this exercise adds value to the quality of your relationship and your communication. It could be something you try once a week, as an intentional way to practise active listening together.
So, try this with that special someone as soon as you can and enjoy the rewards, trust me, Wonder is in your corner, love and light…