What
If I Told You That You Have to Die to Experience Marital Bliss
I can already imagine you saying God
forbid! I will not die in Jesus name. I will live to declare the glory of
God.
Hold on, I’m not talking about literal death. I am not talking about giving up the ghost and getting buried in the soil. Not that kind of death. But for you to enjoy a high level of bliss, peace and joy in your marriage, you must die! Without this, experiencing marital bliss will be difficult.
Stuck
in our ways
When I sit in counselling sessions, I hear a man that is stuck in his ways and beliefs. A man that has been fed by the society that a woman needs to respect a man. I see a man who believes it is alright to speak to the woman as he likes but when the woman does same, she is not a good wife.
I also see the woman who claims ‘this is how she is and he should learn to accept her like that’. She is unyieldingly unteachable and only act according to how she deem fit even when it defies reason.
When two people are stuck in their
ways, beliefs, and conditioning, they become blissful marriage runs away from
them. This is why couples need to die for them to enjoy Bliss.
How
Do You Die?
When you have been stuck in your ways for so long, you don’t see the things you are doing wrong as a big deal. You believe that the other person is the one that needs to change and not you.
To die for your love life to rise is
to die to self and the mental conditioning that has gotten you thus far. This
mental conditioning may have helped you succeed in your career but will
actually make you miserable in your love life.
Being good at your job and even life
management is not the same as being good at love management. You speak to your
subordinates with authority
Die
to Unbridled tongue
There are many executives whose word
is unquestionable at work and sometimes want to do the same at home. It won’t
work except you married a dummy. At home, you and your spouse are partners and
in a partnership, you deliberate until you agree. Where there’s no agreement,
no decision is made. This is why you must murder the tongue that speaks to your
spouse like she’s your younger one.
Die
to Authoritarianism
You are not the alpha and omega of
your marriage. You are in a partnership, not the commander of an army. You must
learn to negotiate your way instead of bullying your way.
Die
to what you are used to
Before you got married, you were used to having your space, having your opinion unchallenged and making a unilateral decision. It’s no longer Christmas Because you have brought someone else into your life. You must die to your former way of life and come to understand that this new way of life must be according to the terms of two people.
Die
to selfishness
You cannot love truly when you are selfish and this is what must die. Everyday, as you go in your marriage, check yourself if you were selfish or not in your decision and choices. If you check your selfishness level based on everything you do daily, you are on your way to marital bliss.
Die
to bad habits and attitudes
In my work as a relationship counsellor, I have seen many issues and at the heart of some of them are bad habits and attitudes. With the cultivation of good habits and attitudes, many homes will be blissful. This is why you must take your time to identify sabotaging habits and attitudes working against your marriage. One after the other, start dying to them.
May I conclude by saying that until
your old self dies, the great you will not rise. Until the great you rise, the
blissful marriage will always be elusive.
