A lot of us miss the mark between unhealthy independence and healthy independence. This lack of precision manifests in our love relationship in ways that make our partner question the existence of a team in our romantic affair. It might occur to us, sometimes, that we are riding solo for too long without carrying our partner along. Yet, when that happens, some of us still shun the urge and ride on. This has been proven to be an unhealthy relationship habit. And here are reasons why being too independent might mess up your relationship.
1. Little by little your connection dies
The chemistry that occurs between lovers does not stop at the physical attraction. It is a blend of many other things including the sense of belonging to a master plan planted and watered, daily, by you two. It is what makes a new person incapable of replacing your significant other in your heart and vice versa. But the moment you become too independent for longer than necessary, this begins to wane.
2. Your level of irritation rises
One of the underlying factors of unhealthy independence is the wrong assumption that your partner is not smart enough or good enough to help out. For that reason, you unconsciously begin to nag more, burst out more, and generally get more irritated around him/her. At first, it might appear to you as an action of insignificant consequence, but the truth is that your independence draws you away from the reality: that you alone can not do it all.
You need help -at least do unwind after the stress of grinding. And more often than not, if you engage your partner, they might be the key to a significant breakthrough in the idea of implementation for you. But you lose all of these because you will become hot-tempered.
3. Stressed out
This is a predictable side effect of unhealthy independence. You will get burned out due to stress. What that does to your relationship is that it denies you the chance to make memories with your lover. But, beyond that, it creates a gap between you two. And this gap only grows wider the more you hold on to yourself.
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It is important to take wisdom from the African proverb that says if you want to go fast; go along. But if you want to go far; go together. Life and relationship are best enjoyed as a team. You stand nothing to gain with too much independence. Absolutely nothing.
So reach out to your lover. Explain things to him/her. Update him/her about the development of your projects, tasks, and all. After all, you trust him/her and that’s why you’re together in the first case.
I hope this causes a change of perspective in you.
