It’s not a relationship. And yet you’re not completely single.
“It’s complicated” they say.
“It’s different”
“We know exactly what we are doing”.
This is a clear cut example of an entanglement.
If you are not already familiar with the word entanglement especially from the rave a few years ago, this is what it means;
An Entanglement is a relationship that isn’t straightforward nor defined but rather features a lot of complexities and Intricacies.
This is a hideaway for people who crave relationship intimacy without the stability and name attached to it.
It’s okay to want to be in an entanglement with someone.
The truth is, there are moments when you are not particularly looking for anything serious to commit to like a full blown relationship, this can be the best time to try out an entanglement
It can work in different ways for different people. But, it can also be extremely damaging for some people especially in the long run.
Think of an entanglement as a fancier word for “situationship”.
They’re basically synonymous to each other.
If you’re in an entanglement for the right reasons then it might benefit you
If, however, you are in an entanglement in the hope of finding something more with the person, then you’re in it for the wrong reasons and it may affect you emotionally after a while.
These are the different ways an “Entanglement” can become damaging to you.
1. You will end up dissapointed
It is easy to get carried away in an entanglement. You have this arrangement with this person and somehow you consciously start building your life around them.
It’s very easy to get your hopes up during an entanglement especially when some unwanted feelings start to slip in.
An “entanglememt” does not save you from developing feelings neither does it shield you from heartbreak.
If you are going to plunge into an entanglement with anybody, then you first have to make sure you both are on the same page and that there are no plans to develop feelings.
2. You can waste your own time
For a situation that isn’t a relationship, it does take a lot of a person’s time and effort.
Basically, it works just like a relationship except you are choosing to use the word “entanglement”.
Wouldn’t you rather be in a real relationship rather than wasting your time and energy on a situation that might never develop into a real thing.
3. It takes you off the market
When you are in an entanglement, you’re currently not looking for any other person to talk to or spend your time with.
It unconsciously takes you off the table of relationship and dating pool.
You might never know about the person interested in you or the kind of love you might have missed out on because you were fixated on something that isn’t even a real relationship.
4. It breeds uncertainty
Nobody likes being unsure of a particular thing, especially decisions that affects and concerns us.
Uncertainty is a major issue that plagues people who find themselves in entanglement.
The constant worry that you are not doing something right. The constant worry that you could have it better some place else and sometimes the constant worry that you could fall in love with your entanglement “partner” regardless of your resolves and beliefs.
5. Your self esteem might decline
This is particularly true if you are the one who develops feelings for the other person involved and they don’t.
If you want more but they don’t, you might start to question your personality and physicalities.
This is really bad because you’re beginning to cut off bits of yourself away for an undefined and temporary situation.
6. You will feel vulnerable
Vulnerability is a good thing when it’s for the right thing and for the right person. Being vulnerable in a wrong situation will only leave you open to be taken advantage of.
Being in an entanglement can leave you vulnerable and alone. Entanglements do not come with stability and without stability in any thing that we are doing, it’s easy to feel very open and vulnerable.
It will mess with you Mental heath
Finally, entanglement situations can lead to decline in mental health.
Imagine this; Against your better judgement, you fall deeply in the long with the person you’re engaging in an entanglement with.
You know what you share with them isn’t as deep as love.
Worse still you can’t tell them about your feeling because “you’re supposed to be an entanglement remember?”.
It’s easy to feel more alone than you would in a relationship when going through things and dealing with heartbreak.
As much as Entanglements can be damaging, they also work well for some people. You should not just plunge into an entanglement because there is a sudden rabe about it.
You have to know where you are currently at the moment and if It is something you can do.
If you cannot stomach being in 1, then you do not have to be in 1 regardless of how amazing it might feel at the beginning.
In all, Entanglements, relationships and everything in between are just “words” that mean similar things but are used interchangeably to suit a particular narrative at the moment.