Every relationship experiences its fair share of issues at one point or another from arguments over unnecessary or trivial matters to problems with sex or worries over money. Here, I discuss five of the most common relationship problems people have and how they can work them out.
- Arguments
Have guidelines for arguments, such as not cussing, sticking to the point and taking time out. Please take a moment to discuss any concerns before they build up. Tell yourself what you do feel uncomfortable with. Arguments over whose turn it was to fill the dishwasher are also about deeper topics, such as frustration or disappointment, that you have not been able to express.
- Communication
Some couples have different types of communication, such as speakers and non-talkers, or individuals coping with things by talking versus individuals who want to get on with things. Other couples used to interact well but started listening to each other; instead, they tried to fill in the blanks and read the mind. Every conversation becomes a war sometimes.
If the couple can assess what goes wrong and make any adjustments, all of these challenges can be solved. If your partner is not going to speak to you about it, you can even do this on your own. Ask yourself: “What happens when I want something important to talk about?” “When was the last time I tried hard to listen to and understand my partner truly?” ”
First, think about what you want to say. Pick the time and place for you. Practice “talk time” where you have three minutes together to say uninterrupted what you need to say, and then your spouse reacts. If you have something interesting to say that you can’t find the words for, use email or write a message. Try to use “I” phrases and stop accusing the other person; it’s difficult to listen well when people get defensive.
- Growing Apart
Over time, it’s natural to change. Some couples change together, but when one of you seems to be doing most of the change, it can be hard. It is important to think about how you can have a better relationship with this “new individual and not waste your energy crying for the individual they were. This has the potential to be interesting, as new ways of being together can be explored. Your relationship will still succeed if you speak to each other and really believe like you want different things as people as long as you have something that keeps you together as a couple.
- Infidelity
After affairs, relationships can be repaired, but integrity and a willingness to react to the wounds that are left are required. Typically, affairs don’t come out of the blue, so it’s worth spending time trying to learn lessons like you were both satisfied before, chatting, feeling like you’ve lost intimacy? These discussions are often complicated, and you can find it easier to speak with a neutral third person, such as a counsellor.
It’s not compulsory to get back with someone after they’ve cheated on you unless you want to. As much as it can be forgiven, it cannot easily be forgotten.
- Traumas
Events in life and external stresses can affect your relationship. By pulling together some individuals cope, but it’s just as normal to find that incidents tear you apart. Try not to shut up and fight on your own. Let a partner know how you’re feeling. They do not know for instance, that you’re awake at night thinking about the health of your father and that’s why you’re grumpy in the morning. Try to see life stressors as something like “team us that you face together. But note that some things take precedence at times in a long-term relationship, and that’s OK.
Hope this helps for those going through any of these, a part two of this post will be posted soon to address five more problems, love and light, Wonder…..
