When men approach women they find attractive, there are some common mistakes they make. It doesn’t matter if the interaction happens online or in person, some men make some pretty common mistakes.
The funny thing is that as a man, when approaching a woman without any romantic intentions, that is, to get information or to be a friend, we always hit it off and I think our mistakes in these scenarios are very rare or limited.
It’s taken me and most men a lot of mistakes and trials before getting to the stage when we can approach any woman we find attractive without committing these mistakes anymore. So save yourself all the embarrassment we’ve gone through and learn from our mistakes.
Common Mistakes Men Make
1. Not Continuing to talk
I realize it’s difficult to just say “hello” to someone, but it can take a minute to get a conversational rhythm going. You have to move past that initial icebreaker to something more concrete, and you need time to get there. You might need to figure out what you have in common, or she might be a little nervous and need to warm up to you a bit.
If you don’t immediately click with her or know what to say, that’s okay. But if you’re being fidgety or stumbling through the conversation and she’s still responding to questions and not un-matching from you (online) or resembling an animal that’s trapped and looking for an exit, then you should keep talking, say anything!! If she’s still listening to you, then there might still be attraction.
2. Ignoring her body language
Women are very expressive in their body language if you pay attention. As a man, you should always pay attention.
When it comes to talking to a woman, you have to pay attention to whether she looks like she wishes she was anywhere other than where she is now (because you may need to accept she’s not into you), but also how engaged she is with you.
If you talk to most women about football, they may get bored. They’re more likely to start looking around the room to see if something else is going on to distract them from you. So football is definitely not a good first time topic for bringing up with a woman. Books, education, work, are more general topics that you can direct into deeper conversation.
When you bring up a certain topic, does she look you in the eye? Is she nodding? Is she leaning forward, possibly to hang on your every word? If not, you may need to change course, maybe even by asking, “What’s something you’re really interested in?” For example, I met a lady yesterday evening and she said ‘You’re so tall, my neck hurts from looking up at you’. Let’s ignore that fact that she was in pain for now because I can’t control my height; this shows that she wanted to be closer to my mouth; where the words I’m saying are coming from and that was a good sign from me. And yes, I got her number.
3. Interrogating her
We often start asking a string of questions and barely giving our chatting partner a chance to respond when we’re nervous or insecure. Conversations have to organically evolve, and they can’t if you’ve become an interviewer.
You know how people feel at job interviews? Nervous. Stressed. Anxious. Is that how you want the lady you’re trying to talk with to feel? Definitely Not.
Once you realize you’re asking way too many questions, take a deep breath, and give her time to respond to your last question. Listen to her answer, and respond in a real way; this means explore that answer and have a conversation about it instead of jumping to the next question.
4. Expecting her to “lead”
While women are perfectly capable of carrying conversations, they’ll likely assume very quickly that a man isn’t interested them if we’re having to take the lead.
If she’s interested, she wants to know about you, and if you’re not really participating, whether it be because you’re only giving short responses or not asking questions of your own, they are going to assume you don’t care to know about them, and are going to move on.
5. Trying too hard
Women can tell when you’re being fake, and that will always be a turn-off. You don’t need to constantly crack jokes or boast about how much money you make. You just need to treat it as if you were chatting with a nice human that you also happen to find attractive.
The best thing you can do is keep it casual and simple. “Hi. What’s your name? How are you doing? What do you do?” Simple. Easy. Nothing too special or hard. That’s what I always use and I’ve had a lot of success from that. Many men like to use pick up lines and even though a good use of words is appreciated, not everyone is into that.
The ability to keep a conversation going is a very important skill. Trust me, it’ll get easier with time. For example, if not for practice, I won’t be confident to speak to that lady yesterday evening. I was writing the last article I posted yesterday when my neighbor barged into my room and said ‘Wonder, there are two fine girls outside, let’s go talk to them’. It was as simple as putting on a shirt for me and walking out with him.
Last piece of advice
Keep trying, don’t boast and keep it very very simple. Love and light, Wonder. I’d really like to hear how these tips help you so reach out to us in the comment section.