Usually, I write for those in relationships or those that have just gotten out of one but I’d like to use this particular article to speak to the single guys and ladies reading today. As a single person, from time to time, you’ll have a crush on someone or you’ll feel especially close to that makes you happy. While sometimes it’s easy to tell if they like you too; if they flirt with you or if they make plans. Lately though, a crush may use more subtle ways to show they like you. Don’t fear, Wonder has prepared. In this article, I’m going to show you five ways to tell if your crush really likes you or if the signs are just a coincidence.
- IF THEY START USING YOUR SAYINGS/CATCH PHRASES
People will tend to mimic the catch phrases, accents, speech rate, or even tone of someone who they want to like them. Communication accommodation theory tells us that we alter our speech to match the tone and vibe of a person who we care about. And hey, if they’re trying so hard to make you to like them, it may mean that they already like you.
What if it’s just a coincidence?
Try this: come up with something new. Some weird little verbal “ism” that you can try out on them. Maybe a terrible joke, or an exclamation like the ‘eweeee’ going around in Nigeria now. Say it a few times here and there and then…watch and be amazed as they pick it up. It may take a week or two, but if they like you, they may try and use that phrase to show you that they enjoy your company.
- IF THEY PURPOSEFULLY DISTINGUISH THEIR SPEECH PATTERN FROM YOURS
People will purposefully alter their own speech patterns in an attempt to make themselves seem more unique or desirable. This line of thought comes from the principle of scarcity, which explains that if someone possesses a rare quality (e.g., red hair, an accent, green eyes) it makes them more desirable. If your crush highlights their rare qualities around you, it might mean they’re trying to make themselves seem unique!
What if it’s just a coincidence?
That question can be answered very quickly. All you have to do is watch them when they’re around other people. Does the same “accent” that they so boldly present around you fade? Do they downplay their unique qualities when they don’t think you’re looking? Do these behaviours pick up again when they think you’re around? These are tell-tale signs that your crush is into you.
- THEY MIRROR YOUR ACTIONS
What is mirroring? It’s a nonverbal tendency that people do both consciously and unconsciously. Like accommodation, we mirror people to put them at ease – specifically by replicating their nonverbal movements. This is not mimicking, which happens when someone copies your actions. Mirroring is more like a complimentary behaviour. You get up from your seat, and they cross their legs. You brush your hair back, and he/she clears his/her throat. It’s a bit of a long-shot, but it happens!
What if it’s just a coincidence?
Okay, I’ll admit that this one is a little harder to distinguish from the others, especially since it’s often done instinctively. One way that you can respond to this is by doing some mirroring of your own. Pay close attention to your crush when talking with him/her, and purposely react to his/her nonverbal actions. If he/she crosses his/her arms, you scratch your head; if he/she stands, you lean back. I know that sounds odd, but it may go a surprisingly long way.
- HIS/HER FRIENDS THINK YOU’RE COOL
This one is a bit more obvious but pay attention to your crush’s friends when you’re around them. Do they “push” you on him/her? Do they ask you if you’re single, or who you’re interested in? Take note, because if your crush’s friends like you, a relationship with this person is much more likely to happen.
What if it’s just a coincidence?
Who cares? When did having more friends ever hurt anyone? If you must test this theory, try and make plans with your crush’s friends, purposely excluding him/her. If they try and get your crush involved, it’s a good sign. Bottom line: if everyone around your crush seems to like you, he/she may see you as a potential person of interest as well!
- THEY TRY TO DEVELOP A ROUTINE WITH YOU
When it comes to initiating or developing relationships, people like predictability. Only once a relationship is established do people strive for something new or unique. You are unique enough on your own in the beginning of a relationship because there is likely a great deal of information that your crush doesn’t know about you. If they look to have a regular day of the week where they see you, it could be an excuse to get close to you.
What if it’s just a coincidence?
Test it out! Try and see if this person aims to associate the two of you with some “thing.” Maybe it’s watching a new show every Sunday; maybe it’s meeting up to workout, or going to the dog park every Wednesday. The point is you should watch out for acts like these that attempt to establish routine; they might be trying to create a connection!
In conclusion, I must say that you shouldn’t brashly question if their behaviour is different because they like you. They might shut down and shut you out or deny it even if it’s true. If you ever bring up a relationship with this crush, be honest about your own feelings, don’t bring up theirs. This article isn’t written so you can give them all the responsibility. It’s to help you discover the ways that your crush could be intentionally or unintentionally letting you know how they feel. Now, you can choose to wait till their move but if you don’t want to snooze, it’s best you make your move, Love and light, Wonder.
