Confidence is a quality every individual in the 21st century needs to have in order to function most efficiently in and out of different situations. But like every other pertinent skill, you might be better than your lover in one or more of these. What then do you do? Do you leave them to their lack of confidence and take the lead always? Chances are that if you do that, you are not only effacing the possibility of his/her confidence but breeding a weak-willed partner. And that is bad for any relationship. Here is how you can help your lover build confidence.
1. Communicate
The reason behind your lover’s lack of confidence is often rooted in how (s)he is brought up. There is the likelihood that (s)he had an abusive adult who constantly fractured your lover’s chances of expressing him/herself to the point where (s)he feels most comfortable away from situations that requires confidence. The first way to help your lover build confidence is to communicate with him/her. Understand where (s)he is coming from.
2. Roleplay
As one who lacks confidence, (s)he is likely to hate standing before a crowd or a person of higher authority, so role play indoors. Assume you are a (wo)man of high authority or an official whose position naturally makes your lover nervous. Now ask him/her to come forth and establish a conversation with the character you’re playing.
Repeat this with several other role-playing characters. When you’re sure (s)he is getting a hold of it, add a twist. Introduce a different character that is not played by you. By this, I mean ask a close friend of you two or someone you both respect to kindly join in your little exercise. Let your lover practice with this individual(s) too.
3. Repetition
When communication and role play brings out a positive feel in your lover, take to repeating it. Repetition they say is the best path to perfection. Make your practice session serious and fun (sometimes). Let your lover understand the goal of the practices so that when such a situation arises in real life, (s)he can be calm and collected.
4. Positive self-image
One of the main reasons for lack of confidence is the presence of low self-esteem and the absence of a positive self-image. This is the most important issue you need to address in other to help your lover develop his/her confidence. Practice self-affirmation talks. Help him/her quell negative self-talks and self-thoughts. Help your lover to understand the need for a positive self-carriage, always.
These four tips are fundamental in building confidence. But if after practicing all of these, your lover still lacks confidence, it could be helpful to see a therapist.
Till next time!
