Differentiating entanglement from relationship

It can be hard to differentiate if you are in an entanglement from a relationship especially if you both started from being in a relationship. You know you can be officially dating someone and at some point, things just feel different and it feels like you are the only one in that relationship. It’s gradually turning into an entanglement but you can’t see it because you think in an Entanglement, the two parties agree to be in it and they are aware of it. 

Or maybe you can see it but you are too scared to walk away, you want to give them a second chance, you think you have wasted so much time and invested so much on that person so they have to be ‘The one’. You hear things like, “she just makes me feel alive and new again”

If you are waiting for a sign so you could leave the relationship, this is a sign. Leave.

It’s either you break up or it breaks you. You cannot be taken for granted, you should not be treated that way. You are a human and you deserve to be loved right.

In this article, I’ll be sharing with you different signs you can use to identify an entanglement from a relationship. They will be signs of Entanglement and also of Relationships

Entanglement

1.  Emotional Immaturity: Emotional Immaturity is a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation. That is acting unreasonably.

When one is emotionally immature, he/she can’t control their emotions. You’ll often lash out at your partner and hold grudges.

In Entanglement, there’s always someone emotionally immature. How do you know that someone is emotionally immature?

* Lying to get out of uncomfortable situations and questions; If you are really in love with someone, you won’t lie to them to get yourself out of trouble. Most times, the uncomfortable question or situation is if they catch you with another person and they start asking if you are cheating. 

* Blaming when things go wrong: If you can’t admit your own mistake then what can you do? It is quite simple, ‘I did it. I’m sorry.’ That’s all you have to do instead of blaming everyone that was around. People who push blame never get things to work so how do you expect them to make a relationship work? They can’t even handle their own mistake now you expect them to handle your heart. You are asking for too much. 

Relationship

1. Both are emotionally healthy. Not like I’m saying that people in Entanglement are suffering from mental health, no. There’s just a different way you treat someone you really love and someone that just makes you happy at a particular period. People who are really in a relationship are emotionally healthy because they are always happy to see their partner. It’s normal to have setbacks and fights in every relationship because at a point, for human beings to co-exist, there has to be conflict, but when this conflict is more often than the happy times, then something Is wrong. You are probably in an entanglement.

2. Entanglement 

An obsessive need to stay connected because you are afraid of abandonment: When you are in an entanglement, you’ll be the only one giving so much in the relationship, especially emotionally. Most times when you are so In love with someone, even if they treat you badly you tend to even do more so they don’t leave you.

Sometimes you withhold part of your personality so the person doesn’t leave. You need to stop outdoing yourself. Whoever wants to go will eventually go. 

2. Relationship

Everything Comes Naturally: Both parties feel free to be themselves, and nobody has to fake it to make the other person like them. You see in some relationships where the man or woman has to act like she likes something when she doesn’t or vice versa. Relationships should not be choking. It’s something that should be enjoyed not endured. Once you feel choked up and exhausted then you are definitely in an entanglement.

3. Entanglement

Communication Breakdowns

You should know you are in an entanglement when your partner can go 3 months without speaking to you on the phone, physically, via messaging apps. Communication is key in any relationship, both romantically and normal relationship. If you can’t communicate, there’s always a misunderstanding. You don’t have to see each other physically. We are in the 21st century, almost everybody above 18 has a phone and uses any of the messaging apps so what’s your excuse?

3. Relationship

Great Communication: When you are in a healthy relationship, you and your partner communicate regularly. Once you communicate a lot you are also building friendship and trust. You begin to become free to tell each other anything that’s bothering you and you get to let things out of your chest. Couples that communicate well hardly hold grudges. Yes, they will fight but they won’t fight for too long because they can tell each other what they feel and apologize for their mistakes.

When you don’t communicate often, you don’t feel the bond when you talk.

4. Entanglement 

Emphasis On Sex: When you see that the only thing that brings you two together is sex then you are more like a ‘friend with benefit’ than a partner. If that’s the only thing good about your relationship or the only thing you both offer yourself then, you are entangled.

4. Relationship

Healthy Sexual Expression Based On Love: If you both are sexually active, you have sex with your partner based on the fact that you are in love with them and not just because you want to have sex. If you are ready to wait before marriage then you should be able to do that with your partner without looking for a third party to calm your sexual urges.

In general, the way conflicts are handled in an Entanglement is different from the way it’s handled in a healthy relationship. Entanglement always has an emotionally Immature person who is ready to lash out and call their partner names.

Sometimes because of lack of communication, they tend to escalate a small issue to a large one because they were holding grudges and didn’t let things off their chest.

In a relationship, both parties find a good way to end the argument without hurting anybody. They do it respectfully.

People fall into entanglements and call it love because they feel so strongly, but for lack of a better plan, they always fail.

Entanglements eat you slowly and deeply and they are time wasters. You won’t be able to find the person who really loves you because you are in an entangled relationship and you won’t be able to find yourself also because you are not being real when you are with them. If you come across this, I want you to know that you deserve the best.

Everybody does. 

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