One of the reasons why couples opt for an open relationship is because they are not getting everything they want from their partner.
In some cases, when some couples cannot meet each other’s needs, they see open relationships as a way to save their marriage. In an open relationship, your partner is allowed to be with any other person they desire apart from you. While will this be an option in your relationship in the first place if they are satisfied with just you? A relationship that is not working, is not working.
As overwhelming as it sounds, people engage in open relationships because they feel it makes the relationship stronger. They believe that one person can’t satisfy all of someone’s needs. They also believe that it cancels cheating. A relationship that is leading to marriage should be a union between two people. The married couple is allowed to rewrite their own rules but is it possible for an open relationship to fix a relationship that is on the verge of splitting up? Even though the goal is to save the relationship, sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. Imagine a situation where your partner starts to love the person he/she is having an affair.
Open relationship always comes with a lot of rules like:
Knowing the amount of time you spend with the person that is not your partner, the level of connection you should maintain and know your limit. In some cases, it even involves the number of people you are supposed to have sex with.
Can An Open Relationship Help Your Relationship?
No, an open relationship cannot fix your relationship. You can see a real-life example from Will and Jada Smith. Here are a few reasons why it cannot fix your relationship.
1. Emotions: It is very hard not to feel jealousy when you know your partner is with someone else and one of the rules of an open relationship is not to feel jealousy. Humans are not really programmed that way. People get jealous and it is something we can control. Imagine knowing that someone you love is with another person because they feel like you cannot provide for their needs in that area. If you feel nothing at all, maybe you are no longer interested in that partner so the relationship doesn’t need fixing in the first place. It is already broken.
2. The Rules Are Broken
No matter how hard you try not to admit it, the truth is that it is easier said than done. It is easy to make the rules and say that you both love and trust each other so well that you can allow yourself to be with other people without getting attached. It is much easier to make the rules than to act the rules. What happens when emotions come in? The funny fact is that it only takes one little thing to break the relationship that you are trying to protect when you break the rules. At some point, because you want to avoid jealousy from your partner, you start to lie and hide the truth because you don’t want them to think that you are spending so much time on a certain person. Once you start to lie, you have broken the whole point of an open relationship.
3. It reduces your self-esteem: When your partner tells you that they want to be physically attached on an intimate level with someone else, it somehow reduces your self-esteem even though you might pretend to be alright or you both agreed to it. In some cases, you may start to fight for attention from your partner or even other people and this will end up in a rough end.
Before starting an open relationship, it is important to think closely and try to reconnect with your partner. If you need help with that, it is ok. You can go for marriage counseling and therapy. All this can make your marriage stronger, not an open relationship.
