Many African women should be divorced today but are being held down in abusive and hurtful marriages because of many divorce myths that has been sold as the truth.
When two people set out to marry each other, divorce is probably the last thing on their mind. African women dreams of a happily-ever-after before it dawns on them that what they had hoped is not looking like it.
The
man that was saddled with the responsibility of honoring, nurturing and
protecting her has become the one who is doing the opposite. She never imagined
the thought of leaving him but his daily actions if not curtailed will make her
run mad.
After
trying all she knew, she came to the conclusion that it was best to leave the
marriage. But the world would not agree. You want to leave your husband? That
is a taboo, they told her.
There
are many myths being peddled around concerning divorce. These myths are used to
suppress women’s voice and hold them down in marriages they ought to have taken
a flight out of.
God Hates You for Being a Divorcee is one of the Divorce Myths
This myth was gotten from the Bible:
“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:16 NKJV
People
get this confused. If you read the earlier verse, he was speaking to men, and
asking them to deal fairly with their women because God hates what divorce does
to people.
It is a lie. God does not hate you for divorce; He hates what divorce does to you. God hates divorce, not the divorcee. Just like God hates sin, not the sinner. We are all sinners and God still loves us.
Divorce is some kind of disease
From
the moment you are thinking of divorce till you carry it out, some people treat
you like you carry a disease. It is one of the world’s ways of alienating you
but you must understand that divorce is not a disease. It is simply a mistake
you made and came out to seek correction.
You Will Never Find a Man to Marry You
I
agree with them here. You will never find an ordinary man to marry you. You
don’t need an ordinary man. You already tried that, it didn’t work for you. You
need a man who doesn’t carry the populace mindset. You need a man with a higher
level of thinking who understands that even the most perfect human can fall victim
of divorce.
This
is a myth and you shouldn’t join them to believe it. Examples abound of
multiple women who got divorced and are happily remarried today. You can
decide what your own story will be by simply believing the best.
African
women need to rise up from the shackles and mental bondage imposed on them in
order to help them endure bad marriages. When a marriage is bad, it needs
fixing and when it becomes abusive, it needs temporary separation and when that
doesn’t work, divorce should suffice.
What other myths of divorce have you heard? Feel free to share below. Let’s have a conversation.
ALSO READ: Divorced But Living Whole: Four Nigerian Women Who are Thriving Despite Being Divorced
