6 Relationship expectations that are
unrealistic and will likely leave you awfully disappointed
One of the greatest problems that destroy relationships is unrealistic expectations. People often make the mistake of expecting things that the other person is either unaware of, unable to provide or simply unwilling to provide. Expectations that are unrealistic can be emotionally strenuous for both party and is unhealthy for the relationship.
Relationship expectation in itself is not bad. They often come from a place of personal desires, beliefs, temperaments or personality, experiences, and social or environmental influence. And so it is perfectly okay to define what you would want from your relationship. However, these expectations need to be analyzed and broken down to what is reasonably possible and unselfish.
Your partner must know what you are feeling
without you communicating it and they must understand those feelings.
Nobody has to capacity to know what the
other person is feeling without being told about it. Expecting that because you
share a bond with someone would mean they know you that well is faulty notion.
Nothing is really understood without effective communication.
If you want your partner to get to know and
understand you, you have to be willing to constantly share your feelings about
things. This does not mean that they have a manual to your emotions and will
know precisely when you are sad or upset, communicating your feeling gives them
a window to your personality and they learn how to relate with you happily.
Good relationships don’t have conflict.
A popular Yoruba adage says that as close as the tongue and the teeth are, they still have misunderstandings (you bite your tongue sometimes!). You and your partner are from different sides of the world with different perspectives, ideas, and beliefs and of course personality, you will almost always have conflicts at some point in your relationship. Sometimes you will hardly ever have any misunderstandings and at other times, it just happens once a while. But you will have disagreements.
Conflicts that get resolved is an ingredient to a good relationship because it will help you understand each other much better.
Nothing must change.
If you think that things will remain the same throughout the relationship, then you are mistaken. Human beings naturally evolve, and as we get older our mindset, preferences, and most often, interests will change. This means that your relationship will be affected by these changes. Sadly, some relationships end during these times because one person cannot handle the change or just refuses to accept it.
I get to have sex with my partner whenever
I want.
Even married couples cannot always expect this. You have no right to your partner’s body that they have not given you by themselves and this means that they always have a choice to say yes or no, and not be at your sexual beck and call.
My partner will change for me.
This is by far the most common expectations we hold for relationships. It’s not only of the unrealistic expectations but also very wrong and foolish. Sometimes, people say that they have stopped or started a habit to make their partner happy but 99% of the time they go back to the way they were as soon as the relationship ends.
This mistake is the belief that something a person does or does not do will change when you are in a relationship with them and by your influence. You can change anyone unless they recognize the need to change and are ready to change for themselves.
My partner won’t notice other people now
that they’re with you
This is another recipe for heartbreak. The
eye sees what it sees and appreciates beauty when it sees one. Whether or not
they notice another person does not guarantee your partner’s faithfulness.
Instead of bothering yourself with this, focus on your positive vibes and the
connection you share with your partner.
