In the world today, especially in Africa, it’s expected that a family should have children or at least a child and even in Europe or America, teenagers have assignments like ‘baby projects’ to learn how to care for a baby. This means that having a child is encouraged.
However, there are still people who don’t want children, and this can be pretty tricky for someone who wants children to handle when they are in a relationship with someone like this and doesn’t know how to handle it.
I have a friend who doesn’t really hate children but can’t imagine another being depending solely on her for movement and health care which is why she constantly says she’ll adopt a child that is already in adolescence or preteen stage meaning that for her, a compromise could probably still be reached with a partner that wants kids.
The idea to write this article came to me when I was carrying my little cousin earlier this morning; she’s one year old. I found myself thinking I want to be a father unconsciously, now that’s dangerous thinking for me since I’m still in my early twenties but as you can see from my subconscious thoughts when carrying a baby that it wouldn’t be wise for me to go into a relationship with someone who doesn’t want children even one that wants to adopt preteen kids.
So for those in situations like mine, be aware that in a relationship with someone with intentions for marriage as relationships were originally intended for, that children will be a big part of the relationship should you want them.
Now the time for discussing this crucial aspect of any relationship should be early on in the relationship, I’m talking first date, third text session if you met online and if it’s a dating app, luckily, they ask these questions in the forms. Hence, they match you to other people who want kids.
The reason why this should be discussed is that some people don’t want children and there’s nothing wrong with that but a lot of individuals often assume that because they want kids, the person they’re into wants kids too and this can cause problems after emotions and resources have already gotten invested in the relationship. If it’s discussed on the first date, both parties can decide to leave the date as friends since they do not match in that regard and if a compromise can’t be reached.
Finally, don’t compromise unless you’re sure. Don’t be swayed by the feelings you’re experiencing at the moment, think long and hard before making any decisions like this that can affect the relationship in the long term…. Love and light, Wonder….
