Japa loneliness- How To Deal With A Dead Love Life In The Diaspora

When you first  Japa to a new  country, your first few weeks will be one filled with excitement and euphoria.

As you begin to spend more of your time in the new place you will start to realize just how incredibly lonely life in the diaspora can get.

You might find yourself looking for ways to make new friends and more often than not  new romantic relationships.

Most times, your love life will suffer a slow decline when you move and you might be wondering how to pick up the pieces and fix it.

You can feel very miserable and confused all at once. What are you supposed to do with all the deep  emotions you’re struggling with? How do you deal with the bouts of loneliness and the decline of your love life when you’re are in the diaspora?

If you plan on staying in the country for a decent amount of time (even if you’re not), these are some major ways to manage and deal with feelings of loneliness.

 5 Ways To Manage Japa Loneliness

1. Get busy

Staying indoors Is not an option for you in that moment. Be busy. Being busy will distract you from your present emotions and you can channel and focus your energy into other things. If you don’t have a particular place to go to just or you’re not  working yet, then, going to a park, a museum or any other spot buzzing with human life and activity is an option you should indulge.

You  can also start a personal project for yourself, it does not necessarily have to be one that makes you money right away, if it can be a distraction to you from your feelings, then you should be open to embarking in one.

Even though getting busy does not comepletely solve your problem, it can help drastically reduce the way you’re feeling.

When we are idle, our minds are exposed to more damages and we imagine more worst case scenarios than we should, we end up feeling worse for it. But, when your mind is always active, in time, you will be able to manage the loneliness you feel and still feel good enough to focus on other things.

2. Hang out with family or friends

Unfortunately, this does not apply to people who do  not have any friends or family in the particular country you’re in.  But, if you do, be deliberate about reaching out to them. Spend time with them especially if you don’t yet have a work you are doing.

You can visit them regularly and go for fun activities with them. When you’re feeling lonely, it’s normal to want to shut every other person aside and focus on your current feeling but that is not healthy for you in the long run.

Be open for family and friends to reach out to and interact with, do not turn down invitations to have fun with them. You are also more likely to feel less lonely when you’re out with the people you’re familiar with as opposed to going out alone or being around random strangers.

3. Talk To People About How You Are Feeling

Be open and vulnerable about your feelings. If you’re finding it difficult to connect with anyone romantically and it’s driving you to sadness or you feel miserable because of it then open up to your family or a friend or anybody for that matter.

You should never try to bottle down those feelings. They don’t go away when you keep them in and you know what they say about a problem shared being a problem half shoved right?

Even if the problem isn’t solved after sharing it, you are guaranteed to feel a bit of the weight leave you when you confide in someone.

If you don’t want to confide in people close to you for some reason, then, You can consider speaking to a therapist or a counselor. You can find some free ones online and try to explain exactly how you’re feeling to them. You should not try to leave out any part of your feelings out. When you discuss it extensively with them, there’s a great chance that you will feel better or you will be exposed to  another perspective to it.

4. Find things that make you happy

You should purposefully seek out things that make you happy and indulge then. In your former country, what were some of the things you welcomed in your life that made you really happy. It’s normal to lose touch with some of those things after moving to another place, this should be the period  to reconnect with them.

Does going to a church make you happy? or reading a book? or creating some sort of art work? find them again and start to do them. If you feel like some of the things that used to make you happy before moving to the diaspora can not be found there then you’re not looking well enough. Search for substitutes or alternatives to things that make you happy. When you spend time doing things you love and things that make you happy, you feel grateful and so, you’re less likely to feel lonely or miserable about being having  no romantic ties to anyone.

Look for ways to incorporate the tiny little things that make you happy into your daily routine.

5. Take mini vacations to nearby states

If you have the funds and resources to get you to a new state or region in the country, then utilize it properly. Sometimes you’re lonely because you have not stepped out of your comfort zone. Explore other cities physically. Go to other fun spots in other cities and deliberately look out for romantic interests. It might a little extreme, but if done well, you can easily find someone you will connect with on a deeper level when you’re deliberately seeking them out in another city.

Have fun while at it. Even if you’re unable to find someone you are attracted to or connect with while you’re on the trip, you can have fun and see new places and spots. This will distract you from then current feelings of loneliness you’re experiencing.

These are some ways that can help you deal and manage with the feeling of loneliness in your lovelife. There are no quick or easy fixes, but if you deliberately work on these options, you will gradually start to feel better and less lonely.