You can make your partners listen to you without shouting. When you shout, either they do not listen or they listen because they are scared and in the end, it won’t turn out fine.
Before we go into how your partner can listen to you, you should check why they don’t listen in the first place. It is easy for you to blame your partner for not listening but you need to understand that communication is a two-way thing.
It is important to let them know the moment you notice you are feeling ignored because sometimes, they do not even know you feel that way.
Why Is Your Partner Not Listening To You?
- The Way You Pass Your Message Across: You are shouting and you expect your partner to reply. They won’t because you sound aggressive and negative.
- Too Many Word: When you say too many words to make a small point. Beating around the bush doesn’t help at this point. It can be frustrating or boring.
- Saying Things That Hurt: When you keep saying things that hurt them, you don’t expect a response from them. When you are known for insulting, intimidating and disrespecting your partner, you don’t expect them to listen to you,
- Manipulation: When your partner knows you have ulterior motives for almost every conversation, they won’t communicate with you. They might think there is a pattern of manipulation and they will do their best to avoid it.
Now that you know why your partner may not be listening to you, it is important to know how you can make them listen
- Listen: It is important to listen if you want to be heard too. When you listen to your partner, they will listen to you too. Don’t listen to respond. When your partner is talking, listen till the end and not just because you want to talk after. Listen to understand.
- Choose Soothing Language: Yes you want to make a point, we know but you can be nicer. Be intentional about not trying to hurt their feelings. Once you raise your voice or escalate an argument, that is when your partner stops listening. They won’t listen because they feel attacked, criticized and blamed
- Balance: Balance negative words or points with positive points. For example, if your partner always comes home late from work and doesn’t have time for your kids, you can simply say,” I love how you put in so much effort in work and how you provide for the family but we really miss you. Leaving work a little earlier and spending time would be really nice.”
- Agree to Disagree Respectfully: You need to understand that at some points there will be disagreement, The goal is don’t make your disagreements drain the other person. Disagree respectfully. Give reasons why their way is not the best option and why they are wrong. It is not every time you wake up and choose violence.
- Be Concise: Don’t try to elongate things. Your point is briefly. Let your words be absorbed by your partner. Don’t go on and on just because you want to be heard. They have heard you.
