BREAKUPS: When You Should Let Go

In novels and movies, you’ll see people that find ways to be together, no matter the issues they may face. This is because they’re in love. In real life though, love is not always enough to prevent breakups. However, we stay in these relationships because the chemicals that we’re feeling in our brain make us overlook the dissatisfaction we’re feeling in the relationship.

Being in love is definitely a good feeling and it’s also good for your health. These feelings are not enough to build a healthy and lasting relationship. Below are some of the signs that promote breakups.

1. You’re not getting what you need

In a relationship, everyone has different needs that need to be met. These needs are either emotional like quality time with your partner, or functional, such as requiring them to handle money in the right way.

It’s critical to communicate when one partner believes the other isn’t meeting a requirement. It’s probably time to move on if that person’s partner isn’t willing to work harder to meet that need.

One of the reasons people stay in partnerships that don’t suit their needs is because of our society’s negative opinions about single people. It may appear as if they would never discover something better if they quit the relationship.

2. You’re seeking what you need from others

In a fulfilling, healthy relationship, when you hear good news or have an emergency and you want to share it with someone, your partner should be the first to come to mind. It’s great to have trusted colleagues at work, but if you’re constantly turning to a “work husband” or “work wife” for support, it may be a sign that you’re not getting the support you need from your partner.

If you or your partner is seeking emotional or physical fulfilment from people outside of your relationship, it’s time to call end that relationship.

3. You’re scared to ask for more

It’s natural to feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about what you need and may not be getting from your relationship. But having open lines of communication are essential to lasting, healthy partnerships.

Some people might feel that you come off as needy and emotional so instead of speaking up, they suppress how they feel, continue on with their dissatisfaction and feign contentment out of fear of feeling like a burden.

Then something little happens that causes an argument that could end up being more destructive to the relationship. Hiding your genuine feelings about how your partner treats you is more likely to prolong rather than save an unfulfilling relationship.

4. Your family and friends don’t support your relationship

You should consider how your family and friends feel about the relationship. It may seem unimportant but if there’s not a single person in your relationship circle who supports the relationship, that’s a red flag.

If these people who love and support you can see that the person you’re in a relationship with is not making you happy, it’s a good idea to listen to their opinions. When you avoid them so you don’t listen to their concerns, then you’re lying to yourself and they’re probably right.

5. You feel obligated to stay in the relationship

It is more likely for people to stay in relationships when they’ve already invested time and effort in the relationship. Even if the decision to stay in the relationship doesn’t make you happy, but because you’ve made a prior investment, it leads to continuous investment.

More time spent in a relationship with someone you care about will not solve the problems. If neither partner is prepared to work to meet the other’s wants, the relationship is unlikely to last much longer.

6. You’ve been working on your relationship for too long

There is a bigger motive to work out problems when two people are in love and have spent years together or have started a family together. If both partners want the relationship to work, couples counselling is recommended, with a one-year time restriction.

Spending too much time without coming to a decision may destroy your connection to the point that you won’t be able to repair it. After a year of deliberately working on the relationship and failing to meet each other’s requirements, the hard decision to break up is likely the best choice.

7. You don’t like your partner

This may be hard to believe, but it is possible to be in love with a person you don’t like. If that’s the case, you may get by day today, but it will be nearly impossible to make it through difficult times together.

All couples have disagreements, but people in healthy, loving relationships get through these situations because they like each other. It’s difficult to get through those things without liking your partner.

8. Your partner is abusive

It is possible to love an abusive partner in an abusive relationship. According to a 2015 poll by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in four women and one in ten males have been victims of intimate partner abuse.

More than half of the women surveyed in a 2010 study by the National Institute of Mental Health described the men in their abusive relationships as “very dependable.” One in every five of the women polled claimed the guys had some positive characteristics, such as “being affectionate.” It goes without saying that a relationship that hurts you isn’t worth it.

LAST LOVE TIPkups

When it comes to splitting up with a partner, whether it’s a new or long-term relationship, it’s critical to do so gently. Breakups are unpleasant, but you must do what is best for yourself at the end of the day.