10 Things Toxic Partners Say

1. “Your feelings Aren’t valid.”  They may not openly say it to you but they’ll say things like, “it’s not a big deal. Why are you upset about it? I didn’t really do anything wrong.” They are indirectly telling you not to feel the way you feel which means your feelings are invalid to them. Your partner should never tell you how you should get upset or how you should react to something that got you upset. 

Toxic partners always want to be in control and they always want you to feel bad for acting in a certain way. By saying, you shouldn’t feel that way, they are trying to release themselves from the guilt of the problem they have caused. No one should be mad at you for feeling a certain way, they can’t take your feelings away from you. 

2. “You Are Being Too Emotional.” This is one of their favourite phrases when they do not want to make an apology. They come with, ‘oh, you are being too emotional’. You are in a relationship, your partner should be your best friend. You should be able to express how you feel without having to hide any part of yourself. If you are an emotional person, then be it. A toxic partner is never ready to admit his/her mistakes. They will blame you and your issues. Let’s take an example.

You have a girl that makes you feel insecure, you tell him about it and how it makes you feel uncomfortable, and then they’ll say, you are too emotional. Nobody should tell you how to feel because you are not wrong for being angry especially if you kept on talking to them about the matter and they did nothing about it.

3. “You Never Trust Me.” Sometimes, this could be sincere by a sincere partner but this is also one of the favourite lines from a toxic person. They use this as a form of emotional blackmail when they have done something wrong. Instead of apologizing, they blame you for not trusting them. If you caught them in an act that you both have vowed not to do or you caught your partner cheating on you, it’s ok to say that they have broken your trust and it will be unfair if your partner demands it and expects you to trust them the same way you did before catching them in any act.

The trust was broken and it’s only normal to act that way. Rebuilding trust takes time. But if they start to blame you for not trusting them, they start to divert from what the argument is really centred about, that is the fact that you caught them cheating. They start to tell you things like, you have trust issues, you are insecure and so many other things.

4. “You Are Lucky I’m With You.” This phrase, arrrgggh! So if you weren’t lucky to be with them also, why are you still there? Why are you still in the relationship saying ‘you are lucky I’m with you’? You need to understand that toxic partners will continue to play with your head. Everything they do will always be your fault, one way or the other. 

This could go both ways too. It can come from the person who is being abused in a toxic relationship. Some people don’t know how to leave. They are already deeply in love with that person or they can’t let go of whatever benefit dating that person brings, so they remain there.

Whatever happens to you will be your fault because you saw the signs and you refused to leave.

5. “I Could Have Anyone.” With this phrase, you can easily understand the person. You would know that the person stinks of pride, a very disgusting sense of entitlement and another full cup of pride. If your partner says this very often, like in every argument, you are mostly dating yourself. 

Most times, they say this when they already have someone and they are cheating. They are showing you the red light but you have refused to move on by accepting and walking away. If you are reading this article, please carry yourself and walk away. Walk away!

6. “If You Don’t Want To Have Sex With Me, I’ll Have Anyone Else.” Firstly, married or not, your partner should never say these words to you. If they now say it often, ah! You are on your own. If you are not willing to have sex with them for a particular reason then they should be able to sit you down and find out why. If after finding out they still insist then my dear, they don’t have your interest at heart.

As a boy, if you decide not to have sex for a particular reason may be based on morals, or health issues, then your girlfriend should be able to understand. They are in a relationship with you and they will definitely know about it. It’s ok not to be fine with it, walk away and look for someone ready to have sex with you every day. But it will be so unfair to say, you’ll have sex with someone else just right in front of them.

7. “I Only Want What’s Best For You.” Is that really true or you are doing it because it favours you? If you want the best for your partner, you don’t have to say it, the person will also be happy because they’ll feel the impact. 

8. “But You Did This.” When you do something wrong and they call you out for it, just apologize. Stop pushing blames. She replied to her ex last year and you found out, so this year, you replied to your own ex and now she goes ahead to complain about it. Instead of you apologizing, you are telling her that she also did it even after she apologized. If your partner always pushes the blame onto other people who were present in a conflict then he/she is not accountable for their own actions. They’ll never take responsibility for what they have done wrong and they are always right in their eyes.

9.”You Are The Worst Person I’ve Ever Dated.” Someone who is in love with you should never compare you with any of their exes. It is even wrong to talk about your ex with your present partner unless they asked for it. If they keep comparing you with their ex, then it’s clear that they are not over them. They probably get back together soon or the next time they see each other, the sparks begin to fly. Get out of the relationship while you can.

Someone who loves you will always be there to lift you up and support you.

10. “You Are Not Making Any Sense.” At this point, you are trying to tell your partner that they are being irrational. You both have opinions and both of them are likely to conflict with each other but that doesn’t mean everyone’s opinion is not valid. The both of you bring different perspectives and values into your relationship.

Understanding each other and not rushing to judge will go a long way.

If your partner says all ten phrases then, hmmm! You’ll probably need therapy when you are out. But first, leave the relationship. Na date you wan date, you no kill person.