Why you should not stay friends with your ex
Many people have believed for years that
trying to remain friends with your ex is the mature thing to do. For whatever
reason why people choose to do this, whether it’s because they don’t want to
completely let go, or because they don’t want to be seen as immature, staying
friends with your ex can very much affect your new relationship. It’s okay to
still be on talking terms and not completely cut ties with the person,
especially if the relationship ended on agreeable terms. But there’s a degree
of friendship that is acceptable for your new partner and they can tolerate.
Really, is there any point in staying in touch and keeping this person close to
you?
Here are some reasons why you should not
remain friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend:
One person often wants more than just friendship.
Even though they are usually in denial, the
friendship often times means something different to each person. Sometimes it’s
the both of them still in denial about lingering feelings for each other and
they act like everything is fine.
Your current partner is most likely uncomfortable with the friendship.
There is an excessive amount of jealousy your
new partner will feel which will result in insecurities no one deserves or
needs to feel. Your current partner will also have struggles trying to know you
as she/he’s not sure if you want them or you still want to be with your ex.
You will constantly have to explain your relationship with your ex with
your new partner.
This will create a lot of strain in your
relationship as well as your emotions. Your relationship with your ex was
romantic, and those feelings are very likely to arise. Your new partner knows
this and they will have a hard time trusting you.
Lack of Mutual Respect
Typically, there’s a lack of mutual respect that
exists due to the unevenness of the ways both parties see the friendship. Ever
heard about the ‘law of see finish’? Your ex would lose had for you because
they are in a relationship with you because of the familiarity that they
believe to exist between you two.
If you’re thinking about remaining close
friends with your ex, ask yourself these questions before making doing that;
Are you respecting your partner’s feelings
towards the situation?
Why do you still want to remain friends with
this ex? Is it for your own selfish ambitions, are you still enjoying the
attention you get on the side?
Define your reasons…
Be sure to define your reasons to help you
decide whether or not it’s a good or bad idea. Keeping friends with your
ex-boyfriend/girlfriend usually doesn’t end well for everyone involved.
Does your partner approve of this friendship?
You want to respect your partner’s wishes about it if you want to enjoy a
healthy relationship. If your partner is honestly okay with the friendship, then
continue the friendship while keeping proper restrictions so it does not affect
your current relationship.
