Being sexually compatible is one of the most important aspects of any relationships. It’s not something that people often talk about because there’s a lot of stigma associated with the sex topic especially in a country like Nigeria.
The truth is that so many relationships and even marriages have separated because of sex issues.
Most people get into proper relationships before they have sex and by the time they find out that they’re not compatible with their partners sexually it’s already too late.
They can’t leave easily and so they stay and harbor resentment. This resentment festers and sometimes they only way to cope is through cheating on their partners or other ways. This is why sexual compatibility should never be downplayed.
What Should You Do If You And Your Partner Are Not Sexually Compatible?
Communicate With Them
Communication is not overrated. Ever. It’s possible that your partner is not even aware of the sexual incompatibility. Talk to them and explain why you are feeling the way that you are feeling.
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Who knows? Maybe you can work your way to a conversation that can spice things up in the bedroom and improve your sexual life. This should definitely be the first move to make when you notice any issue in your sex life.
When speaking to each other about it, make sure to keep it as respectful as possible. Do not try to undermine their performance but at the same time be as clear as possible. Listen as much as you talk.
Seek The Help Of A Sex Therapist
because why not? They are called sex therapists for a reason. You and your partner should definitely book an appointment with a certified sexual therapist to find out the root cause of the sexual issues in the relationship.
There are so many reasons that people are not sexually compatible and a sex therapist is the best person to help you and your partner unravel the reason.
They can also dish out secret tips to spice things up for a better sex life.
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Don’t Overthink Sex
I know…it’s hard! You want a better sec life, so of course you have to think about it every other second. While it’s natural to want to think about it all the time, It can actually be counter productive. You will work yourself up so bad that it will only make the sexual problems even worse.
Enjoy other things with your partner like cuddling, touching each other, holding hands etc. Sometimes being intimate in other ways can take the pressure off the main sexual act and when it eventually happen, it will happen naturally.
Watch Porn Together
Everyone watches porn or at least almost everyone. This time around, try watching porn with your partner. If you still believe that watching oorn is something that only single people do then you need to have a rethink. Watching it with your partner could not only change your perception but your interaction, too.
Break Up
Breaking up with your partner may not want to be your first option when there’s an issue, but if you find yourself being unsatisfied with your sex life, that may be the only thing to solve it.
“You might love your partner and can’t imagine living without them but, if your sex life isn’t so special, you might want to reconsider being together,” said Ebert. “It’s almost taboo to place so much emphasis on sex, but it’s an important aspect of a relationship — one that can either make it really fun or really boring. If you and your partner can’t work out your sexual incompatibility, it might be time to move on.”