RELATIONSHIP
This Is Why Toxic Relationships Are Addictive
Toxic relationships begin just like every other relationship. They are deeply felt and make you feel good.
You are filled with respect and love for each other just like in the beginning of any normal relationship.
As a matter of fact, the beginnings of toxic relationship is a “normal relationship.”
Nobody goes into a relationship wanting to be toxic.You want your relationship to work out, you want to thrive in it, you want to be happy.
But, somehow,against your heart desire, you find yourself in a relationship that consistently makes you feel bad and insecure about yourself; A toxic relationship.
Even worse, you find yourself unable to leave it. It feels almost like an addiction. A bitter sweet addiction. As painful as it might be to remain in one, it feels even more painful to leave one.
Why is this so?
This is why Toxic relationships are addictive;
Most people who eventually find themselves in a toxic relationship battle with some unhealed trauma.
This trauma could be from a past relationship or an incident while growing up.
When they encounter someone who fits the ideal description of the person they want and what they’ve gone through, they latch onto them quickly and fiercely. They confuse this attachment for love.
In a toxic relationship, two kinds of people normally exist. The partner who easily gets attached; and the partner who avoids getting attached.
Opposites the say, normally attract.
A person who easily gets attached will naturally be attracted to a person who is emotionally unavailable against their better judgement. It’s a subtle form of punishment.
Humans love to live on the edge and most times we will go for people and things that are not good for us. This is not a conscious decision that happens, you will most likely not even know the reason you’re attracted to your toxic partner.
Also, people who are emotionally unavailable will naturally be drawn to people with attachment issues.
It’s the perfect recipe for disaster and it’s a relationship that will only result in premium tears but both parties will dive headlong into it.
The first few weeks of the relationship will be smooth sailing because it is still the butterfly stage and so, you will be unable to see your partners flaws.
However as the stars start to wear off from your eyes, you will start to see their flaws.
One partner would want to overcompensate while another partner would want to run the other way. The partner with attachment issues will naturally crave some sort of intimacy at this point and when he/she does not get it, they flare up become triggered.
This will also trigger the unemotionally available partner.
It is this constant triggering that will lead to a toxic relationship.
Sometimes, things become good again, and so you might cling to the temporary high that the good feeling brings, but it is always temporary and things will eventually go bad again.
It is the good moments that becomes addicting for you. You are willing to take the bad moments that come with the relationship because in your head the good moments are worth it.
But when this becomes a consistent thing, you will find yourself becoming very drained and this might become damaging to your over all well being.
The truth is both people in a toxic relationship are a little damaged. There is no wrong or right. The only right person is a person who walks away from from a toxic situation.
If you’re still in a toxic relationship because you’re still hoping that your partner will one day change, then there are parts of you that are damaged. It makes you similar to your toxic partner.
The best way to get out a toxic relationship is to let go of it. It will not be easy, but in the long run, it is so worth it.