Perhaps, you have a nasty trait of falling for partners that are emotionally unavailable or difficult to provide intimacy or get closed to? Or you have a habit of pushing away anyone who is caring, available and easy to get close to? It has been discovered that we sabotage intimacy in some ways that we’ll explore today.
No matter the partnership you’re in; be it the process of falling in love or you are married for many years, I’m sure you’ve experienced what it feels like to be connected emotionally with a partner.
It is always difficult to understand how a couple that began with hand holding and an electrifying vibe suddenly start falling out of love for each other.
Disconnection happens in different ways between different people and across different relationships: it’s always a triggering emotion to experience love when we have become used to being heartbroken.
Some of these are examples of relationship sabotage:
• Overworking, criticizing, interrupting, withdrawing, drinking,
• Clinging, withholding your opinion, taking on too much responsibility, lying
• Keeping secrets, finding fault, withholding affection
Here are a few reasons we push our partners away:
Some people push their partners away for the following reasons:
• If I get close to you, I’ll lose myself, my freedom, and my individuality
• I fear that you’ll leave me, and once again I won’t be good enough
• Intimacy means revealing my true self, and no one likes that part of me.
There are some experiences that make us hesitant fo connect to love in two self sabotaging ways: either through distant intimacy or constant intimacy.
Distant Intimacy
Those who proclaim independence in relationships guard their hearts by using distant intimacy.
Distant intimacy is their shield against being rejected, abused, or controlled in a relationship.
However, they’re not satisfied because this type of intimacy makes use of less emotion, less passion, and less connection. And the home at reality of life is when you don’t risk anything, you gain nothing.
Constant Intimacy in a Relationship
On the opposite side, there are those that require constant intimacy and they’re called the clingers. They desperately want love but they don’t feel good enough to allow someone to love them.
Any distance in the relationship causes excruciating thoughts about being cheated on or abandoned.
Where do these patterns come from?
This pattern originates from unresolved childhood wounds. The feeling of being close, exposed, and vulnerable, but also unworthy of someone else’s love and affection.
WAY FORWARD
The way through is to empathize with each other’s darkest fears and work with each other to create an intimate language that protects partners and loves them in the way they’ve been seeking their entire life.
By making use of this technique, you can deal with the problems arising from intimacy in your relationship. Love and light, Wonder.
