In some relationships, gaslighting occurs in different ways and it is a sign of a toxic relationship. Some people are not even aware that they’re being gaslighted.
Gaslighting is when someone else denies what is going on, blames you, or makes you feel like everything is your fault. It causes you to feel like you can’t do anything right and possibly you are crazy.
Those who experience gaslighting find it difficult to come up with tools and know-how to stop gaslighting.
When you love someone, the last thing you would expect them to do is to manipulate you and make you feel less. Sometimes it ends up happening and you don’t even realize until later because you’re in love.
However, gaslighting in romantic relationships can be very traumatic for anyone.
You have to remember to not give them control and stand up for yourself in order for the gaslighting to stop.
How to Confront Gaslighting
If you believe your partner is gaslighting you and you want to learn how to stop it, then the following is important for you.
It’s a good idea to confront the gaslighting partner because they might either not realize they are gaslighting you, or they might realize they have a bad defense mechanism but don’t know what it’s called or how to stop, which is unconscious gaslighting.
If that’s the case, then you can help them understand what gaslighting is, how they do it and how it makes you feel/
In order to remove toxic patterns from your relationship, this is a step in the right direction.
However, if you’re dealing with gaslighting from a partner who has a personality disorder such as narcissism, especially one who is emotionally abusive, you must remove yourself from the situation. This is one time that we don’t encourage communication. It’s going to take too much energy out of you in order to convince them because the chances of that are very unlikely.
If it persists then you have no choice but to leave the relationship, no relationship is worth being manipulated and brainwashed. Spend time with friends and family members and learn how to be yourself again.
If you’re worried that your gaslighting partner will ignore you as usual when you try to respond to him or her then you need to be prepared to start the conversation first so they don’t get a chance to talk over you and ignore your response.
6 Ways to Stop Gaslighting in a Relationship
1. Seek support from trusted people.
Before you confront someone who is gaslighting you, you should talk to your trusted friends outside of your relationship in order to gain the courage to confront your partner. This will also help you confirm your experience with gaslighting as they can let you know if they think you’ve been experiencing it.
Reminders and empathy from others can make you feel deeply supported which is the strength you need to feel better. You can also talk to a mental health professional or therapist to get professional approval that your partner really is a gaslighter.
2. Take some space away from your partner.
In order to help yourself feel ready to confront your partner, you need to be ready both physically and emotionally.
If you need a break from the conversation, then leave because you can always come back. Go for a walk, and if they don’t let you leave, try some breathing exercises.
When you’re confronting your partner you need to remain calm and persistent as it will help the conversation run more smoothly and more effectively. No matter how mad you might get at your partner for denying what you’re saying, try to keep calm because your reaction will only enable them keep manipulating you.
It will also help you with your focus in the conversation and telling the truth, not letting their lies affect you.
3. Collect evidence.
If you need to show your partner physical evidence like recordings, screenshots of texts, notes of each red flag he or she has brought up or quoting direct quotes from a conversation, even better.
You want your partner to listen and realize each and every one of their gaslighting tactics, gaslighting behaviors, and gaslighting phrases in conversation.
By letting them hear their own behavior back to them, they might realize how terrible they sound.
4. Speak up to your partner about their behavior.
If you prove to your partner that their gaslighting hasn’t worked on you because you aren’t confused or have a lack of confidence, then they may decide that gaslighting you isn’t worth the struggle.
If you call your partner out for the criticism and insults that they’ve made towards you in a calming way, then they might realize and listen to you. When you do this in a calm voice, they might try and understand what they have been doing wrong, and it also gives them the motivation to leave you alone.
If they respond by criticizing you about something, fight back and tell them or even show them that they are wrong.
5. Remain confident in your memory.
A gaslighter will always make you question what really happened and you have to remind yourself and stay true to your version of the story. Don’t let them confuse you in any way or make you question yourself.
Repeat what you know with confidence, and if you have proof, even better. Try to remain calm because if the conversation turns into an argument then you’ll be put in a vulnerable position easy to manipulate.
6. Focus on your own self-care.
The number one importance in a relationship is to take care of your own physical and emotional needs. Practicing healthy self-care can make a difference in improving your mental state. Worry and fear have the power to negatively impact your job, relationships, or life in general making it hard to find the simple pleasures in life.
If you’re sure you are being gaslighted, stop engaging with that person. There is no way to make someone stop doing this except not to play by their rules.
LAST LOVE TIP
You can stop gaslighting in your relationship and also heal after experiencing the trauma. All you need is time and the practice of self care, then you will get stronger.
Other things that could help are meditation, yoga, journaling, and engaging in physical activity like running.
