Being friends with benefits is a modern concept that doesn’t fulfill all the needs of any individual and according to research; most people agree that making love in a relationship is more meaningful than just ‘hooking up’ like friends with benefits do.
Movies have promoted that this is an agreeable concept. Sometimes, two people agree that they want to be only friends with benefits. However saying and meaning it ate very different things. The trouble always starts when someone begins to catch feelings.
Usually, the woman is lying to herself or to the man while secretly hoping that the relationship will become something more serious. Other times, it’s less clear and a woman wonders if the man sees her as a girlfriend or as a friend with benefits.
If what a man says and what he does don’t match, pay more attention to what he does. Men are creatures of action, and actions speak louder than words.
You might be wondering if he only sees you as friends with benefits, or if he sees a relationship in the future with you.
7 Signs He Only Wants To Be Friends With Benefits
1. He’s missing on holidays.
On Valentine’s Day, your birthday and Christmas, he’s nowhere to be found.
If a man thinks you’re relationship material, he will acknowledge those days and make an effort to do something special. If he has other plans or doesn’t remember to acknowledge the special days, you’re just friends with benefits to him.
2. There are no calls.
He rarely calls to see how you are or just to check in. There are few texts just to say “have a good day” or “goodnight.”
If you don’t feel well, he’s not interested in getting together to provide comfort, and he rarely remembers to check back in to see if you’re feeling better except when he wants to hook up.
3. You only get together to hook up.
If he’s looking at you as relationship material, he wants to be seen in public with you. He wants you to meet his friends and family, and go to parties or events with you.
If you’re just friends with benefits, he doesn’t want to involve you with other important people in his life. The main event is having sex, not getting to know each other and being a part of each other’s life.
If he’s looking at you as relationship material, he will want to do other things with you besides being in bed. He will want to join in activities you enjoy and share his hobbies with you.
If you have a project to do and he wants a relationship, he will offer to help. He will want to make your life easier and participate so he can spend time with you.
4. You spend no time together in the daylight.
If time together is unlikely to lead to sex, he’s not interested in getting together.
When you do have sex; he will leave before morning or want you to go if you’re at his place.
5. There’s no agreement to be exclusive.
If you have not had a conversation about being exclusive, don’t assume the relationship is exclusive; it’s very likely you’re friends with benefits.
After defining the relationship, you also need to make sure that his actions and his words are telling you the same things.
6. He’s not ready for a relationship.
If he indicates that he’s not in a place to have a serious relationship for any reason, take him at his word.
In this scenario, the words matter more than the actions. If he has told you plainly, don’t assume that by his actions, he wants a relationship.
There are many reasons a man may not be ready to have a relationship. Two common reasons are:
1. He doesn’t want to be tied down. Maybe he’s anticipating a job change or planning to go to graduate school and he wants to maintain the flexibility to move for his career.
2. It may be that he has just gotten out of a serious relationship and needs a break.
7. He shows little or no effort.
If the man is putting in little or no effort, this is evidence that he thinks about you as only a friend with benefits. It may be that you’re the one always initiating contact.
If you’re honest with yourself, you feel it. You know you’re towards the bottom of his priority list.
If he sees you as someone to have a relationship with, he will put in the effort to spend time with you and do things you enjoy. He will notice what pleases you and do them.
IN CONCLUSION
We teach people how treat us so if we accept their behavior, they’ll continue to treat us that way. If you’re tired of being friend with benefits, stop participating in the arrangement.
Often, the same man will treat different women completely differently. Each woman is treated the way that she feels worthy of being treated. Decide what you want in a relationship and stop settling for less.
Friends and benefits are good but if you are in need of a loving long term relationship and you observe any of these signs, you’ll need to move on.
