There are advantages and disadvantages to each stage of love. Despite the drawbacks, people continue to strive to get it right, to make their love last, and to build and sustain a good relationship – all while respecting, accepting, and honouring individual differences.
Relationships are dynamic and ever-changing, posing some of life’s most difficult problems. What stage of love do you and your partner currently share?
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The Romantic Stage
This stage of love might last anywhere between two months and two years. The word “perfect” is frequently used to describe your significant other.
During this stage of love, the “feel-good” chemicals released at a quick pace go to the same region in our brain as drugs, boosting attention and focus, obsessiveness, a strong and overpowering desire to be with our new love, and thinking of nothing else.
What’s the drawback? You may have disregarded other relationships in your life in order to devote more time to your new lover – perhaps to an unhealthy degree. A connection that’s too entangled makes it difficult to maintain your own identity and, in certain cases, leads to co-dependency.
Boredom can set in if you find there are no shared interests beyond the initial feelings of lust. Then, after months of going full throttle, something happens. It’s as though you’ve slammed on the brakes and come to a screaming halt! You’ve passed through the Romantic Stage and are now in the Power Struggle Stage.
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Power Struggle Stage
Everything has gotten clearer. The illusion that romantic love will continue forever fades, and wrath and disappointment take their place. Couples are having a difficult time right now. Your focus has shifted away from your similarities and toward your differences.
Previously “cute” behaviours have evolved into minor annoyances. We may try to alter the individual back to who we thought they were or imagine them to be.
Different communication styles might lead to more arguments or disagreements, as well as miscommunication. At this time, communication clarity is critical since it will determine whether or not the relationship will continue.
Some couples do not make it through this stage and end up breaking up. To avoid this, make accepting and appreciating your differences a priority. Learn to share power, let go of your fantasy of perpetual harmony, and appreciate your relationship’s strengths.
Also, make clear limits and mutual respect a priority. As a result, rather than being romanticized and a “dream,” the connection becomes more realistic.
The goal of this stage is to build your independence without jeopardizing your relationship. How you handle your differences and bothersome habits can have a big impact on how the relationship progresses.
If each person can manage their own feelings, become open and receptive to strengthening their communication, and handle arguments peacefully, the relationship can develop stronger and thrive.
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The Stability Stage
When a couple reaches this stage, they are more conscious of each other’s habits, differences, and irritations. Both have worked hard to establish responsibilities and independence, moving away from the power conflicts that previously dominated the partnership.
Disagreements are simply that: differences. They don’t always turn into quarrels. If they do, though, they are manageable. The partnership has more harmony and rhythm, as well as a stronger sense of rest. With this guy, you may see a bright future.
However, there is a greater chance of boredom or a tedious routine at this point. Losing interest or cheating may result as a result of this. People frequently begin to take the other person for granted and neglect to work on their connection. They think it can rest on its laurels, but that is not the case.
Instead of moving towards their lover, some people begin to move away from them. Although, despite the relationship’s dullness or repetition, it is tranquil, safe, and secure.
People can feel anchored and safe while moving away from a relationship in healthy ways without endangering the relationship.
The relationship can continue to thrive if you can master and feel comfortable during boring periods. If you’re happy with them and prefer their company even when things aren’t thrilling, you’ll have a better chance of enabling your relationship to grow as well.
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The Commitment Stage
This stage might take anywhere between one to ten years. You and your spouse have the ability to make informed decisions for yourself and each other. You’re aware of both of your flaws and have accepted them. You’ve been able to cope with the terrible times while embracing and appreciating the good ones.
Despite the negative aspects, you can rise beyond them and still love the company of others. You don’t have to be with this person; you choose to be with them. Power, freedom, love, and belonging are all in harmony.
Some individuals ask, “Can you picture yourself with this person long-term?” Do you share common interests and objectives? Does this person enrich your life? Is this person all you’ve been looking for?
These questions serve as a reminder that partnerships require ongoing effort, focus, and dedication.
Individuals and couples can benefit from learning to understand and enjoy the stages of love in order to better navigate the relationship’s natural ups and downs.
Understanding and anticipating the difficulties that relationships bring can help people recognize the triggers, learn to be proactive rather than just react, and work through them rather than giving up.
LAST LOVE TIP
Communication is critical. What will you do to communicate your differences? How will they be dealt with? Can you discuss your differences in a way that promotes healthy communication skills as well as an understanding and respect for both your similarities and differences?
Relationships can be difficult and complicated at times. People are difficult to understand. A little more time spent together might sometimes help determine your future. It’s not easy to move through the stages of love in a straight line. A life shift (empty nest, child, etc.) can, for example, return a couple to the Power Struggle Stage.
Consult a marriage or relationship therapist if necessary. Having a third person to guide you through your relationship issues could be the difference between saving and losing your relationship!
