Being
divorced in America is not the same as being divorced in Nigeria and some parts
of Africa. You have a lot convincing to do if you mistakenly get divorced or
separated in Nigeria. Asides what the society thinks of you, you often also
think the worst of yourself for daring to get a divorce. This feeling makes you
lose your self esteem and your authentic eselsence of living.
You
are not the first to seek a divorce and you won’t be the last. Just like how
failing once does not make you a failure, failing in one marriage doesn’t make
you less marriage-worthy. Other women have gone through this process and come
out whole and thriving. You may have a full lesson to glean from them.
Damilola Adegbite
A
Nigerian woman who got married to a Ghanaian actor, Chris Attoh; Their union
ended in 2017 for not very clear reasons but her husband gave us an incline
into what may have gone wrong. We wrote an article on this which we titled
Chris Attoh and the Entitlement Mentality of African Men.
Asides
continuing to make a mark in her career as an actor, she recently launched a
clothing line that has the media drooling over.
The
earlier we get it into our minds that despite marriage, you can thrive the
better.
Toyin Abraham
She
was just a lowly actress known mostly for Yoruba movies when she got married to
Adeniyi Johnson. The marriage was good from the outside but it didn’t take long
before they went their separate ways.
This
article is not about who was wrong or right but about the need to understand
that failing in marriage does not mean failing in life. Your purpose in life is
not to get married, it is just part of the things you can choose to do or not
do.
After
going through separation and ongoing divorce process, and after a bad media
campaign against her for her involvement with Seun Egbegbe (an alleged iPhone
and Dollar thief). Toyin Abraham has become the most influential Yoruba
actress, a crossover actor who now frequent English movies, a box office queen
with movies that has consistently sold out at the cinemas and the highest paid
Nollywood actress.
Sometimes,
divorce and pain is what you need to go through in order to find yourself and
your greatness.
Funke Akindele Got Divorced
After
producing and starring in one of Nigeria’s most popular comedy movie, ‘Jenifa’
she succumbed to pressure and got married but in a matter of months, she got
separated and divorced.
This
talented actress and producer has gone on to create one of the longest
standing television drama, ‘Jenifa’s diary’ and built Sceneone TV app where
thousands of people are subscribed to her entertainment content.
Today,
she is newly married and with twins. By the way, she is still highly sought
after in the movie and entertainment industry.
Tiwa Savage
When
she was getting married to TeeBillz, her manager, everyone was excited for them
but it didn’t take long before we realised there was fire on the mountain.
There were accusations and counter-accussations until it appeared that the
marriage is irreparable.
After
this bitter separation, Tiwa Savage has gone on to make multiple hit songs, win
international awards and living life on her own terms.
Don’t get it wrong
I am
not promoting divorce and it is certainly not my joy to see
many divorced marriages.
However,
it brings sadness to my heart when we see people become a shadow of themselves
simply because they got divorced. It hurt deeply when I see the world judging
and castigating the divorced. My heart bleeds when divorced people
put their life on hold as well.
Getting divorced may never be part of the plan but being miserable after divorce should never be an option. You may want to read on the Myths of divorce that is holding African women down.
