Most relationships crashed before it even began! You ask me how?
Common relationship is built around unrealistic expectations and demands. As the mind is been controlled by what it sees or hears, the same way most people build their relationship based on fiction from movie stories. Let’s, therefore, look at some of this myth:
A perfect relationship means no conflict!!!!
First, there’s no such like perfect relationships, the “awnnn” and “God when” are based on continuous progressive effort from two people. Yes, continuous. A lack of conflict in a relationship signals that you may not be dealing with issues that really matter. You disagree to agree. Instead be deliberate about learning how to disagree in a healthy, productive manner which in turn gives a pathway to having a happy relationship.
Opposites attract and are more likely to stay interesting to one another.
How do you relate without a common ground? It is funny how fiction can play with the mind most times. Most research has shown that two can’t work/walk together except they agree, there’s a need to show that similarities because that is what actually keeps people together for the long term and lead to the most successful, happy relationships. In my study, happy couples might have very different tastes in music, different social backgrounds, or even different religions, but the key aspect they shared was similar basic life values. This is the similarity that counts.
To be happy, you need to talk about relationship challenges and problems often not leaving a stone unturned.
In as much as it is good to be open in a relationship to breed trust and intimacy, however, some secrets are better left undisclosed. There need to be careful about how much time you spend on conscious relationship maintenance because men and women have very different tolerances for “relationship talk.”
Having separate lives keeps couples together long term.
Why not just be out of a relationship if you want to maintain your alone life. It’s called a relationship for a reason, there’s a need for constant interactions, you need to relate with one another in healthy manner to have a common ground. A relationship based on interdependence –social, emotional, and financial is what creates the incentive for couples to stay together. Not forgetting the need to be independent, to have your own interests, activities, and friends. This adds excitement and freshness to relationships. But couples who live parallel lives and don’t invite their spouse into their world on a regular basis tend to grow apart and be unhappy over the long term.
In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a product of continuous effort put together by two people who are deliberate about creating a friendly atmosphere. A flower left unpruned is just good as a weed but the effort of horticulture makes a beautiful difference.
By learning the facts about how men and women relate, behave, and think, you can approach your relationship with fresh, unbiased knowledge. And, next time you’re invited to a friend’s shower or asked to help a friend or family member, your advice will be based on fact rather than fiction.
