Losing a life partner can be an incredibly painful and traumatic experience. It’s important to offer comfort and support to someone who is going through this difficult time, but there are certain things that should be avoided when talking to someone who has just lost their partner. Here are 20 things you should never say to a grieving spouse who just lost their life partner.
“It’s time to move on”:
This is one of the worst things you could say to someone who has just lost their partner. Grieving is a natural process that takes time, and everyone goes through it at their own pace.
“You’re lucky to have had them for as long as you did”:
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While it may be true that the person had a long and happy life with their partner, this can come across as insensitive to someone who is in the midst of grieving.
“You’ll find someone else”:
This is not something someone wants to hear immediately after losing their partner. The grieving process is about coming to terms with the loss, not finding a replacement.
“Everything happens for a reason”:
This can be seen as dismissive of the person’s feelings and can be perceived as a lack of empathy.
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“At least they didn’t suffer”:
While it’s true that the person may take comfort in knowing their partner didn’t suffer, this comment can come across as insensitive and minimize the loss.
“They’re in a better place now”:
This can be a religious or spiritual belief, but it can be unhelpful to someone who may be struggling with their own beliefs or feelings of loss.
“You should have done more”:
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This can come across as blaming the person for not doing enough, which is not helpful when they are already experiencing guilt and self-doubt.
“They wouldn’t want you to be sad”:
While this comment may be intended to offer comfort, it can be perceived as minimizing the person’s feelings and discouraging them from expressing their grief.
“I know how you feel”:
Everyone experiences grief differently, so this comment can come across as dismissive of the person’s individual experience.
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“It’s time to be strong”:
This comment can be interpreted as telling the person to suppress their emotions and can be seen as insensitive.
“You need to move on for your children’s sake”:
This comment can be seen as pressuring the person to suppress their own grief for the sake of their children, which can be harmful in the long run.
“It was their time to go”:
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This comment can come across as dismissive of the person’s feelings and can be perceived as a lack of empathy.
“You’re lucky to have had them in your life at all”:
While it may be true that the person had a positive impact on their life, this comment can be perceived as insensitive to someone who is grieving.
“It will get better with time”:
While this comment may be true, it can be unhelpful to someone who is currently experiencing intense grief and may not be able to see a way out of it.
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“You need to keep busy”:
This comment can be seen as minimizing the person’s grief and can be interpreted as telling them to distract themselves from their feelings.
“I know how you feel, my pet died last year”:
This can be seen as comparing the person’s loss to something that may not be of the same magnitude and can be perceived as insensitive.
“You’re still young, you’ll find someone else”:
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This comment can be perceived as minimizing the person’s loss and can be unhelpful to someone who is struggling to come to terms with their grief.