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Wait! Before You Get That Divorce, Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

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Divorce

Everyone is getting a divorce these days. Most of the celebrity marriages we envy have crashed and burnt to the ground leaving most married couples questioning if they really should still continue with their marriages.

It’s okay and normal as a married person to find yourself wondering if your marriage is something you’d still want to continue with and put in the effort for especially when it is no longer giving you the peace of mind or happiness it used to.

You can feel like the only route is to immediately ask for a divorce so that you will be free from the shackles of marriage, after all, most celebrities do it so easily.

But wait a moment, before you ask for those divorce papers to be signed, ask yourself these 5 questions.

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Divorce

5 Questions You Should  Ask  Yourself Before Getting Divorced

  1. Why Are We Fighting All The Time?

Ever heard of the phrase “bickering like old married couples?”, I bet you have. It’s the absolute truth. Married couples bicker a lot, it’s a rite of passage and it can even become a constant.

However, at some point, it starts to become unhealthy. This is when you should start to get concerned. Ask yourself why you’re always arguing with your partner. Sometimes the issues are so trivial but yet you find yourself in heated arguments.

Whose fault is it? If you’re the e one always initiating these arguments, you need to find out why. Is there an resolved anger somewhere or resentment that you you need to deal with?

If they’re the ones always picking at you and initiating these fights, try and find out the reason why.

Sometimes, your partners could be going through a tough situation and they might be feeling reluctant to share it with you.

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If you’re able to answer this question, you will gain more clarity in terms of divorcing your partner.

2. How Did We Lose Our Intimacy?

This is an age old question that most married couples ask, but they rarely get an answer to it.

Endeavor to get an answer to that question.

It’s normal to lose some parts of physical intimacy after being in a marriage for so long, especially when you put in the children factor.

You can get distracted trying to navigate the family life and lose the intimacies you once built with each other.

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Find out the reason why, when and how you lost the intimacy. Make an effort with your partner to revive it back. Sometimes, you get to realize that the intimacy is all you needed back to revive your dead marriage.

3. How Can We Communicate Better?

Yes! Communication is an important part of any relationship. And by communication, I mean healthy communication. You do not want to be communicating in a language that your partner does not hear nor understand and Vice versa. You should know the language they understand perfectly so that you can communicate better.

When communicating, it’s normal to be selfish and project just your feelings to your partner, but an important aspect of a healthy communication in any relationship is your willingness to listen to your partner too. You have to be willing to allow them air their opinions in a healthy and non-toxic way.

Communicate freely without restrictions, do not hold any aspect of what you’re thinking back. Also be ready to listen to their own feedback without any bias. Sometimes all a relationship needs to be able to thrive again is healthy and clear communication.

4. Do I Need To Compromise?

Relationships work better when the people involved are willing to compromise for each other. Your partner isn’t always going to make you happy or do the right things and Vice versa. So, you have to be willing to compromise on some aspects. If they don’t like what you like or agree with you all the time, your first instinct should not be to bolt out of the door. Find a way to adjust in a way that is comfortable for you. You should also talk to them about compromising some of their wants and needs that do not align with yours.

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5. Do We Just Need More Money?

A lot of Couples get divorced due to lack of funds.

When there is no money in any relationship, its very natural to feel testy around each other. Lack of funds triggers a lot of negative sides in people. It’s normal because nobody really likes being without money. Sometimes your partner could just be angry at their lack of funds and they end up transferring that inbuilt anger to you.

You should ask yourself if  money is  as important aspect of why your relationship with your partner is failing. Have a conversation with them concerning that and hear their honest opinions.

Regardless of how in love you and your partner might be with each other, you can be quite unhappy when there is no money to nourish and fuel that relationship. You can look for ways to make more money and see how it affects or boosts your relationship. Sometimes, more money is all that is needed to save a dying relationship.

Finally, getting a divorce is not as easy as people  make it out to be right now. It’s a hard and complicated process. While, I do not advice that people stick to marriages that they are terribly unhappy in, please, always make sure that you have put in your quota in your marriage before deciding to  walk out of it.

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Explore all alternatives and do the best that you can before you finally leave.

Hopefully these few steps help you make the right decision before deciding to leave your marriage.

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