Love is essential in a relationship because it doesn’t make much sense to be with someone you don’t love even though we see this happening in arranged marriages. These articles are for those who have a choice in picking their partners. As important as love is, there are quite a few things more important than love in a relationship, and it’s essential to keep those things in mind as a couple.
This article is not encouraging you not to be a romantic if you are though. Love poems and dinner dates are awesome. Receiving flowers or gifts are amazing. These are sweet things that show just how passionate you are.
If you’re only in a relationship because of that feeling of love that you get from being in one, you will soon feel the relationship slipping. There has to be more invested in that relationship and more going on like trust, respect and good communication or else it’ll grow stale and could even become very toxic. If our partners and we are actively seeking these elements, then there is more room for growth.
No matter the love we have for someone else, if we can’t trust them, a relationship is not going to work. Trust is important for healthy relationships, and it’s always one of the first things used to assess a couple’s connection.
This does not only refer to cheating or infidelity but also trust with intimate information, trust with being vulnerable, trust that they will always come through in a challenging period and so on. It essentially means your partner has your back and you have theirs.
If it doesn’t come right away, you can work on building trust with time, probably with a therapist’s help. Talk about why you currently don’t feel secured and cared for, and come up with ways you can build trust together.
Love can often blind us to the reality of a bad situation, including being with someone who doesn’t respect us; this is why some women can’t get out of abusive relationships even though they know they should.
It’s easier to look the other way, especially when the idea of separating and losing the person you love so much sounds very miserable and difficult to bear. Keep in mind, however, how much more important it is to have respect when looking for a solid relationship, than simply being in love. Respect is all about honouring each other’s differences, and every relationship should have that.
Safety & Security
Ask yourself these questions right now? Are you safe in your relationship? Do you feel secure? If your answer is “no”, then it doesn’t matter how much you love the person, especially if it is an emotionally abusive relationship. It is often really tough to see that when all you’re focused on is love.
It’s always safer to look for a way out in the event of a toxic situation. Love, no matter how hard you try, is never going to be enough to repair an emotionally abusive partner.
We all want to be happy, and happiness is paramount, although it isn’t possible to be happy all the time. It’s quite normal to go long periods of time when you’re unhappy, especially if you’re dealing with a problem. Still, when you look at the number of times you’ve been happy against the number of unhappy times, happy times should be more often.
Not only can it make you feel closer, but when things get rough, it can also mean giving each other a lift. Love is one thing, but helping each other truly helps build the illusion that you really have a partner.
Genuinely Liking Each Other
It is more normal for people to remain in relationships with people they don’t really like them because they love them than you think. Think of the family member who still judges you or is not so easy to get along with, if you can’t wrap your head around it. Because they’re family, you love them, but you don’t actually like being around them.
With a partner, the same thing will occur. You may love them so much, but you don’t like hanging out, you don’t make each other laugh, and you don’t have anything in common. So if stuff has become old, take note.
Retaining Your Identity
Before you were a “we” you were a “you,” and when you get into a relationship, you can continue to be a “you” There’s no amount of love to give up the core of who you are. That’s a concern if you get into a relationship and you lose yourself, forget your own interests, and give up on your goals.
This is not inherently a deal-breaker, and this is not the fault of the partnership (or your partner). Yet you’ll want to attempt to hold on to who you are, the fundamental truths. By making time for things that are important to you and motivating your partner to do the same, you will work with your partner to get back to yourself.
Did you have a book you were writing? Had they been practising for a half marathon? In reality, encouraging each other to return to their own hobbies and interests leads to a greater sense of love as well as a more meaningful connection.
Creating A Balanced Partnership
Nothing’s better than being with someone who is a real partner in crime. It’ll feel like you can handle anything as a couple when that’s the case, no matter what life throws your way. If the relationship is unequal, though and only one individual makes an effort, it’ll go downhill quickly.
To create the type of relationship that lasts, it is essential to work on striking a balance when it comes to things like chores, emotional support, and so on. Sure, by stepping up when necessary and being supportive, you can help each other out and show love. But make sure to periodically check-in so that things stay equal.
Letting Each Other Know Your Needs
It’s completely possible to have a great, happy relationship with little to no sex, if that’s what you both want, or if you’ve found a way to make it work. But if sex is vital to you and no matter what you do, you can’t get on the same sexual page; you’re going to have some unhappy times.
This takes us back to the idea that your happiness is more important than love. You can work on your sexual compatibility, of course, but if you’ve tried everything and you’re tired of trying, it doesn’t matter how much you love your partner. Holding back or feeling like your needs aren’t being met will become a major issue.
Working on Communication
Communication is the gasoline in love’s engine, which is why there can’t be real, lasting love without it. You need communication in a relationship to set boundaries, express your love, fix problems, talk about your needs, and even to have good sex.
Even if you both genuinely love each other, communication is what makes the relationship wax stronger in the long term.
Readiness For The Relationship
The heart is also entirely complicated. You may love somebody, but you don’t want to be with them, or you don’t want to be with them now. You may have other priorities, you may feel inaccessible emotionally, or you may not be ready to commit. Timing is also important here, which is why love may outweigh wanting to be in the relationship.
If things feel a little off, talking about what you want with your partner, and where you see things going long-term, can help both of you figure out if what you have is really really working. All relationships are different, and there are a lot of solvable problems.
Hope you had a nice read, love and light, Wonder.