We have seen articles about how long-distance relationships can thrive and be healthy. Yes, it’s very possible but there’s this one thing that can destroy long-distance relationships. It comes with every other thing that destroys it. Like; Lack of trust, insecurity, Dishonesty and many others. What’s that overall problem?
If you don’t communicate well or listen well then it’s going to get messy soon no matter how much you love each other. Let me explain this phase. Love is good, love is important but you need to communicate. When there’s no communication or there’s miscommunication, there will be conflict and once these things happen too often you begin to question the love they have for you. Insecurity sets in, lack of trust, soon you’ll be calling the other person saying, ‘i don’t think I can do this anymore’.
We are humans and we don’t always get it right. You might be thinking the root of your problem is love, whereas you both just need to improve how you communicate with each other. It’s from communicating you trust them. You don’t just trust in a day or your partner will just tell you “Trust me?” and you’ll say, “yes I trust you“. It’s honestly not like that. It’s like a fence it has to be built and with any little mistake, it falls. Communicating non-verbally can also build trust; what they do, how they treat you, how they act when they see you, and sending gifts.
Here communication means both verbal and non-verbal. Verbal communication means communicating through words of mouth, non verbal is vice versa. We have body language (Kinetic communication), We have through time (Chronemics), Our tone of Voice and consistency with how we listen to the other person.
Even without the person speaking, with the way they act, their change of energy towards your regular video call and how they suddenly start rolling their eyes every time you speak. They are non verbally communicating to you that something is wrong and now it’s left for you to figure out what. Not finding out the problem can be another issue because you both will go on and on around the same circle till the other person is tired and calls it quits.
It’s important to pay attention to your partners so you can know when they start acting up. Once you do, you fix whatever the issue is and you are good again. Sometimes the problem can be too much communication so you must have to pay attention to how they feel and reduce it, giving them some space. Plan calls together so it doesn’t come as a surprise. This is for couples who need space.
For the couple who loves surprises and regular calls, they want to tell you how their day went and everything they ate. That’s more reason why you have to communicate with them, I don’t know your partner more than you do and nobody does.
This is when you use the time to communicate. You know you and your partner have a certain time you call each other every week, recently for no good reason your partner just stops showing up or calls in late. The person is indirectly telling you something and it’s left for you to figure it out.
In a long-distance relationship, it’s more preferred if you communicate verbally because some people are very slow to figure out an issue. They fon not know that you are angry at them without telling them with words. They can’t read your attitude or your body language.
So rather than thinking ‘He should know I’m angry’ or ‘why Is she calling me after I didn’t pick up three times? She should know I don’t want to talk’. You should just tell them ‘hey I’m busy, I’ll call back’ or ‘you did something wrong and I’m not happy about it’. It’s that simple.
Communication is key in every relationship but it heightens In long distance. Learn to do the best you can, and don’t give up because of distance. You can finish what you started, with just a little more effort and Intentionality.