In a relationship, you’ll likely go through tough times, and these are usually a cause for concern. Although every couple is going through ups and downs, not every couple can make it out successfully. It is these times however that prove if you’ll last together and these are the following things that should not be done in these times, if they are happening in your relationship, it’s not a good sign.
- Minimize the importance of certain issues
This refers essentially to sweeping problems under the rug, a type of “passive avoidance” that never really works. You need to be able to discuss your problems as they come if you want peace in your relationship. More often than not, it just makes things harder to put stuff off until later. The partner who minimizes the interests of the other might just be producing resentment in the relationship.
- Take their frustrations out on their partner.
Life isn’t always rosy. Your partner can have a rough day at work or problems that are becoming unbearable with their families. It happens, and understanding is good.
They should never, however, snap at you, insult you, or mistreat you because there is something they are going through. There could be increasing anger and hurt feelings, and the relationship may collapse.
- Shut the other out
In various ways, everyone manages tension. Some people like to sort it out with other persons, and others like to deal with it themselves. The latter coping mechanism is an understandable one, but it may not be the best for a stable relationship to last. Having a partner to go through life with is one of the advantages of being in a relationship. It’s going to be hard for you to feel like you’re on the same side of your partner cuts you out or doesn’t connect when things aren’t going well.
- Shut down
If your partner shuts down entirely when things get tough, this is a sign that your relationship will not last. This is different from shutting you out. This is a person who, for the sake of the relationship, refuses to make sacrifices or improvements. Instead, since it’s the easiest thing to do, they’ll go along with whatever you say.
If your partner does not seem to cope when things get hard, it will be difficult for the partnership to last. Relationships aren’t always going to be easy, but when things get complicated, you should be able to trust that you can count on your partner.
- Call out all faults
If you and your partner get into an argument, and by tossing out hurtful jabs, your partner gets personal, your relationship will not last. This means that instead of looking within, your partner will blame you. They would rather make you out to be the bad guy than admit they are part of the problem as well. Both you and your partner need to be able to accept your own problems for a relationship to last. More often than not, it’s never entirely the fault of one partner.
- Yell a lot during arguments
Good couples have calm conversations about major problems peacefully and politely. To feel heard, you do not need to scream. Your partner is going to give you time to speak, and they’re really going to listen. But if your partner speaks over you or begins to raise their voice during fights, it reveals that they do not value you as much as you think.
- Think of personal needs against the needs of the relationship
If your partner’s need to be right is more important to them than a need to fix an issue, your relationship may be in trouble. This shows that your partner feels like their needs are much more important than yours. They are more concerned about curing themselves of adverse emotions than they are about trying to sort out things concerning the relationship with you.
These things do not necessarily mean that the end of your relationship is certain. If you’re patient and compassionate, and your partner can listen and work on their dispute solving skills, you can turn things around. To make a partnership work, it needs both of you. It won’t always be convenient. But your partnership will last if your partner is willing to work with you and put in an effort: love and light, Wonder.